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Had an email from him. Apparently I "damaged our relationship greatly by flying off the handle" at him. And according to him I'm glossing over that fact and it is inappropriate... . WHAT? I have never flown off the handle at anyone.  But he is "not trying to punish" me or "not being vindictive". Also he feels I am "somehow accusing him of something and it doesn't feel fair"

It's such a formal, well written email that I'm beginning to believe it.

Why do I now feel like the bad girl? The one responsible for the downfall of our friendship? This hurts so much.

This is what they do... . and are masters at it. I just went through several very similar experiences if you want to read my posts, but mine admits to punishing me and tells me that word verbatim.  What were the series of events that triggered all of this? 

Delete the email! Dont read it again, it is causing you to be upset and to doubt your own perception. He probably needs to justify himself and blame you for the failure of the r/s.

My ex wrote in an email that he was a decent and good guy, and that I knew that! He wrote that my unhealty jealousy damaged his trust in me, and caused him to seek contact with other women behind my back.

Needless to say, that i wasnt the jealous one.

Really the best you can do for yourself is to delete the mail and dont believe his version of the r/s. Good luck, I know its painfull and hard... .

Oh my word.

Ok, this is projection. My ex husband did it as well. He screamed at me, emotionally abused me, held me down so I couldn't move, and yet he states that I ABUSED HIM. I've never even spanked my children.

I think they actually believe the lies they tell themselves. They have to, because to admit the truth would mean that they were at fault, and they cannot do that.

I also think that pwBPD do not feel remorse, so any guilt that they could have for falsely accusing you of something does not exist.

All that matters is that you and your higher power know what happened. And what the truth is.

Hugs,

L