BPDFamily.com

 :)

I had a personal breakthrough this weekend. My uBPDw has always complained about my family thinking how they are perfect and they never do anything wrong, and for the first time, I am seeing she may have a point (not that that justifies her reactions though).

I did some research, and I believe I am part of a narcissistic family. I believe my sisters are the "golden child"(ren) and that I have always been the scapegoat since I was a kid for any of my parents negative feelings, more specifically my dad's since I think he brought the narcissism into the family, not my mom. All of the families on my mom's side are well-adjusted, fun loving types of people. I can't help but think if I was a part of one of those families my wife wouldn't have nearly the problem with my family.

Of course, this also explains how I got together with my wife and stuck with her. Being BPD, she tends to always think of her own needs first, I guess, kind of like my parents did and still do. However, I do love her personality apart from that and she can be a very fun person to be around. I never really felt like my parents were very fun to be around. I think by kind of discovering they are narcissistic, I can get rid of many of the feelings of guilt I always felt day in and day out.

Hi guitarguy09,

sounds like a big breakthrough  |iiii.

Yes, growing up in an environment that does not support building a strong sense of self worth can be helpful for getting into a dysfunctional relationship and staying there.

Now that you know what you do - what do you do to overcome your handicap?

So far I have been reading up more on the narcissistic family. I just bought the book "The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists". It got great reviews and has a specific section for the parent/child relationship. A lot to figure out  :)