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So, I'm moving tomorrow, all packed and ready.  Leaving this relationship behind and all the ups and downs, the disbelief, disappointment, fear, guilt, anger, sadness and deep deep hurt... . as well as some of the happiest moments of my life!    

He is not talking to me, very upset and angry.  He was going to help me move and we were going to still work on our r/s, though how realistic that was I don't know.  I left it open, allowing him the opportunity right up to the last minute to pull some sort of a miracle out of the hat, but he didn't - couldn't.  He just made a mess over the last couple of days, to the point where I threatened to call the police if he didn't leave because he was being so vile to me, and I've never done that before.   

He's in a really bad place tonight I'm sure, and probably somewhere getting drunk(er).  I feel really sad for both of us; can't quite believe its come to the end of the line and in such an inconclusive and ugly way.   But I also feel hopeful about the future.  I think I needed this incredibly huge kick up the arse to get me to finally see that I need to change something!

I'm scared about being on my own, and excited about being on my own!  I'm detaching... .

Really need a hug... .

Janey xx

((hugs)) for you

Keep thinking positive thoughts.  Don't be scared.  Although I am far from over this, after 6 weeks NC and living my own life for almost 6 months, I can say things get better.

Good luck!

aww Janey... .

The end of my marriage was bad too. It wasn't at all what happens in normal relationships, where you both agree that the relationship is over and part ways amicably. (This was the case with ALL my other breakups and my first divorce).

There's only one adult here Janey, and that's you. My ex was vile before he left too, and I did have to call the police. I was desperately afraid of him.

It's a shame, and I'm so very sorry. Better days are ahead, I know that when my ex finally moved out I was so relieved. I didn't have to be a prisoner in my own home any longer. Now my home is truly mine. Warts and all. :)

I'm content. This is the way things should be. I should not be married to an abusive man.

L

Sorry janey

I feel your pain... . I wish I could give you a hug right now... How about a virutual hug instead? You are welcome to vent to us if you want. Don't feel alone.

MGL

 ,  you'll be ok,  and are being strong doing what you need to do!

 :)

Thank you all... . feels good to know I can talk about this and that you understand.

Janey xx