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I read that 4 out of 100 people are born without a conscience (called sociopaths). On the surface they appear normal, and manage in many ways and most times to fake emotions normal people ordinarily feel, such as love, regret and sympathy.

They fake it in order to get along in society. Underneath the mask they put on, sociopaths don’t give a hoot for other people or creatures. Regardless of what they do, sociopaths don’t care about the effects of their actions on society, family, associates and persons who consider them their friends.

Some enjoy hurting people mentally and emotionally. This all certainly described my BPD ex, so I wonder if being BPD and a sociopath are the same thing.

I also read that the best way to protect yourself from a sociopath is to avoid them, to refuse any kind of contact or communication. Never pity them because pity is a weapon they use.

LMO ... To hell with it. Why concern yourself with any one else except your self. The self is the way. You have only your self. Balance. Love your self selfishly and everything falls into place. F it.

letmeout,

I am intrigued by socios.  I did some reading - I think it is DEFINITELY possible that some of the partners people think could potentially have BPD are socios.  That they are FULLY aware of the manipulations and abuse they inflict and are able to cloak it in ways that confuse the partner and the partner could very well think they have BPD, or something else.  (Because they just can't PHATHOM these people know full well what they are doing and are evil - but trust me - they ARE out there.)

HOWEVER - in saying that - BPD and Socios are NOT the same.  Socios emotional spectrum is pretty limited or nonexistent.  BPDs are all over the place because they live life based on all their crazy feelings.  Socios are so dead inside they frequently feel empty and bored and do things just to try to get some kind of excitement.  Socios don't have shame - and simply don't care.  BPDs have TONS of shame.

So - I think Socios can't be BPD... . but they could very easily convince you that's all they were.  And I think the codependents (a lot of nons are) are prime pickin's for the Socio.  How hard is it for you to accept the thought of the person you were with inflicted all that abuse purposely and calculatedly?  REALLY hard - so most the time you will make excuses for them and they will continue to work their magic.

Magical thinking... . Do I need say more?

Hi letmeout,

If by sociopath, you mean psychopath (the terms are often interchanged), then BPD is frequently co-morbid with psychopathy.  They often occur together, but they are not the same thing.

Also, sociopathy, psychopathy and antisocial personality disorder are words often used to describe the same behavior/disorder, but there are differences between them.

This thread touches a bit on your question:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=156878.0

heart

No they aren't. ASPD (sociopathy) is a Cluster B disorder and share many traits such as narcissism or magical thinking, but they're different. They lie on an almost Olympic level. Don't trust a single word they say.

At the start of a relationship I think a BPD believes what they say. When you're idealized they do think of you as a god. When you're devalued you're a piece of crap.

A sociopath can do anything right from the start. They can be sleeping with many people from the get go even when professing undying love.

No conscience at all. Zero. BPDs also have friends to tell them how pretty and exciting they are until they become devalued. Sociopaths often have few if any friends. They're also more prone to commit illegal acts such as stealing. They're also less prone to rage like a BPD. They'll get revenge on you and their effed up childhood in other ways.

I've gone out with both. Similar, but with more marked differences for the extreme behavior.

Fact is trying to pinpoint one as HPD, NPD, or any other cluster b is pointless since symptoms overlap soo much at different times during a relationship. They are TOXIC and should be avoided at all costs.

Unfixable. Period. Some things attenuate behaviors for periods of time such as therapy or a baby, but they come back. It's in their nature. It's what they know.

I was pretty dark in my humour and view of the world. But whenever wed joke around and kiddingly mock other people, my uBPDex would always have an evil intent behind her words; as though she could personally pour gas and light the flame on stranger and would sleep like a baby.

Some of the things she'd come out with when she was in a critical mood were pretty screwed up. I saw neither the capacity for empathy, nor remorse for destroying people she deemed deserving (for the most trivial of things, sometimes). She hated poor people, too . . . though she was poor.

The symptoms overlap, which is why I thought my ex was both. I wondered how he could be a raging lunatic, yet have those sociopath tendencies too. I know its not here nor there anymore, but in moving forward I still question the past.

Yes. And the golden nugget of this knowledge made/makes me want to be a sociopath, too. Society looks up to them; it's always the true socios who amass thousands of rabid followers. But that's not why I contemplated putting on the socio-act. If I was a sociopath, I wouldn't be in this situation, living in world where innocent people die like diseased dogs, and the conscienceless are lauded like jewel-clad Kings of the Earth on damn-near every echelon of the social status hierarchy.

If I didn't have a conscience/empathy, do you think I'd be on this forum, desperate to find the mythical key that'll untether the festering anguish the BPD relationship caused me? It wouldn't be me mourning over the loss of the most potentially selfish, manipulative, vile person I've met; I'd be out surfing to 1980s Rock music that I got last week. SHE would be the one mourning me.

With knowledge comes opportunity, but also a great, great many burdens.

You are so right Peridy... . as you usually are... .    

It can be so hard to detach from the addiction... . and I too have gone thru the constant wondering how much my ex is a sociopath... .   my T even mentioned it once cautiously since she's never met the guy, but at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter.  The more I focus on him, the less progress forward I make... .

Thankfully I don't spend much time focusing on mine anymore, mainly because I am so grateful that nightmare is behind me. It is probably normal that traumatic memories can and will pop randomly into one's head like a bad rerun.

Google the term "Borderpath." Obviously it is a relatively newly created term combining both "Borderline" and "Sociopath."

Apparently there is enough diagnostic overlap between the two that mental health professions coined that term.

If anybody is interested there is a great book titled "Evil Genes," by Barbara Oakley, that delves deeply into the "Borderpath" concept. 

Thanks Wanna! I had never heard of that term; its good to know it wasn't just my imagination!