BPDFamily.com

I was just thinking about the difference between high functioning and low functioning people with BPD.  My ex was a high functioning waif/hermit depending on the day.  She was very smart.  But the only time she ever went to therapy (way before me) she quit quickly because she wasn't getting anything out of it.  So my question simply is does someone high functioning with BPD simply never go to therapy because they think they are too smart for it?  Or is someone high functioning able to see the forest through the trees and realize that they have a problem? 

Mine was high functioning 'queen'. very intelligent & was obsessed with the 'nurture or nature' question. That tells me she knew she had issues & wondered if they could be realigned. She also had loads of self help books & subscribed to psychologies magazine!

But, I think part of her illness was the inability to own her flaws & shame. So that would of course create real problems with facing herself & her behavior, in therapy.

The very thing she wants to fix, is the same thing that prevents it getting fixed!

Moonie- I think the inability to own their flaws & shame sums it up, or at least your ex and my ex...

Tried three runs at couples T with my uBPD/NPD ex gf of 3 years.  She was very good at projecting her issues on to me and T proved a waste of time.  Whether in couples or individual T, she could paint a pretty convincing false picture to the T's.  The first couples T we went to decided to see her individually.  That T, who has been my T ever since, was the only one to see through the act and then my ex gf left saying she didn't feel safe.  Again, it was all a waste of time since she wouldn't/couldn't own her words and actions.

I cannot remember where I read this, but the myth of "high functioning" can make people think is isn't as severe... . they are the exact same maladaptive coping skills triggered by the same abandonment.

High Functioning may be comorbid with NPD and it is the NPD part that we think of as high functioning.

So, regarding therapy - NPD is an entirely different can of worms in treatment... . they may go, but it is not about truly healing as much as finding new ways to validate they indeed are just fine, actually better than fine.

I'm more inclined to think that if therapy hits too close to home, that's another motivation to quit quickly.


Doesn't matter how smart you are, you cannot think your way out of mental illness.  I think higher functioning pwBPD are more apt to rationalize themselves out of doing something they don't want to do for emotional reasons.


I think intelligence has nothing to do with wisdom.  As smart as you might be, if you don't want to believe you have a problem, you'll find a way to convince yourself that you don't have a problem.