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Just a quick question as I can't seem to find any information about long distance vs local recycling.

Will they also try to come back to LDR? Or is LDR only considered last resort and they try to find local supply first?

And what if they get the idea to search for a person at a certain geographic location again. Would they seek up old supply at that location or find new instead?

Huhhuh

You pose an interesting question about Ldr and recycling... .

I AM my exBPDw Ldr with the others being locally located for her. We live an hour away with minimal chance of bumping into each other if you will... . so I believe I would be on the hook for secondary recycling ( meaning phone, text, email... . all of which she is blocked from!)

Do I feel like she won't contact me... . heck no... . I think if she needed to that all the attempts would be made... . if she NEEDED me!

In fact I may have been her secret little r/s that others didn't know about ... . because it was so far ... distance wise... that the other recycles didn't have the chance of discovering! Mine was the perfect liar and still is to this day... . telling me she loves me but has to leave... all the while sleeping with someone new while we,re still married!

I'm of the mindset that this is a plus for my ability to get healthy and move on with my life and to try and heal from this tumultuous 4 years of my life... .

Once I said that she was the most beautiful woman ,  now I long for the day I see her in court and pray that it's a brief encounter the likes of which I hope I never lay eyes on again!

My exBPDgf ldr... I finally can give it a name for what happend to me.

Broke up 2 years ago with her who lives 3000km from me, so the chance of bumping into eachother is very small. This distance with a dysfunctional woman was the most bumpy ride ever. I never got closure and that must have been a gift for her behaviour because this way she could easily get away with her habbits of lying, manupilations, emotional texts or emails ands thats were i had to do it with... . Depending on written words and online posts and silence when it was too scary for her to bite knots... . Is awefull when you're longdistance because you simply dont have a clue for what is true. Finding out many times the reality was different then what she told me and what i did took her words for being true.

I'm in NC since 3 weeks which finally starts to make me see things clear. But i did went into her calls for emotional comfort so many times, so yea, they are not ashamed to try to get an ex back on the hook even when longdistance... .

Distance is irrelevant. The pwBPD will re engage based on what lens the current SO is being viewed through. If that person is in idealization, chances are low that you will be re engaged. If that person is being devalued, you and whoever else they were with/and or other interests will be re engaged or pursued, to supply a need. Don't think when a pwBPD re engages you that only you are being re engaged. It is very likely that other exes were also thrown the same "feelers". Sounds awful? The unfortunate reality.

Thank for your replies.

I have also read that the only difference between long distance and local is that with long distance everything just takes more time.

I think that is true because the Devaluation and Discardation took a long time with my ex. So why should recycling be any different.

Hopefully the time will be long enough to recover.

After NC for 6 months he reappeared with the offer to be friends again, something I was not comfortable to begin with.

Previous background: 1 year friendship LDR, 2 months of seeing each other, 1 year of LDR with not clear definition of what it was.