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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: arn131arn on February 09, 2014, 08:33:44 PM



Title: Got a date...
Post by: arn131arn on February 09, 2014, 08:33:44 PM
with a girl from my thermo class.  I was walking down the hall in the engineering bldg, noticed her, she smiled, I asked her if she had completed the homework due this week.  She said, she had, I said I was done, as well. 

She said maybe we should get together and review the answers, I said sure.

Cute younger girl, but I AM sticking to the commitment I made with my P concerning no RS for a year.  I am also noticing that since I am sober the chances of meeting a girl in a barroom are going to be slim.

So, it's good to know that Arn still has it, and can meet girls anywhere. The gym can do wonders on this ya'll! Hell, just to be around them, different ones, talking, hanging out, and having fun without any bullhit or commitment, I'm really starting to enjoy myself these days.

Got to get now... . I have to discuss heat, energy, entropy, temperature, and work... . I'm sure I can find something funny in all of that!  *)



Title: Re: Got a date...
Post by: joethemechanic on February 09, 2014, 08:43:12 PM
My BPDgf was rather adiabatic, she  had no entropy.


Title: Re: Got a date...
Post by: buddy1226 on February 09, 2014, 09:21:22 PM
Hell yeah, arn! Some psyco BPD b!tch isn't gong to be the end of you! Glad you had a good day!

I gotta get back to the gym. Good on so many levels.


Title: Re: Got a date...
Post by: fromheeltoheal on February 09, 2014, 09:29:57 PM
Right on arn!  Here's hoping there's some heat transfer!


Title: Re: Got a date...
Post by: Ceide on February 09, 2014, 09:35:47 PM
Oh man... . you guys are cracking me up!    heat transfer... .

Good for you, Arn!

Looking forward to a time when I can feel happy about having a date again, instead of the cynicism that seems to have taken hold of me, albeit temporarily.

Thanks for making me smile!


Title: Re: Got a date...
Post by: santa on February 09, 2014, 10:39:36 PM
I think it's good that you've still got it.  :)

I definitely caution against starting a relationship right now though. You're definitely still pretty fresh out of your last relationships and you've got so many emotions still tied up in all the stuff going on with that. The way I got messed up with my BPDex to begin with was starting a relationship with her when I was still fresh off my previous one. I think that's how I overlooked a lot of the red flags.

Nothing wrong with Ole Arn getting a little action though. Just make sure you're ready before putting any emotions into it.


Title: Re: Got a date...
Post by: BlushAndBashful on February 10, 2014, 12:10:54 AM
Best of luck to you, Arn! Congrats!

I entered the dating world very slowly after ending a 7 year r/s; it took me over 2 years to even entertain the idea of going on a date. I'm still not sure if and when I would have initiated anything on my own, but one of my coworkers asked me out a few months back and I decided to take the plunge. It's been a good experience all in all. I do notice that even though I'm "over" my exdBPDh, I have a LOT of work cut out for me in regards to being in a normal r/s-- basically, how to have normal actions and reactions. I have a lot of un-learning to do. The good thing is, the new guy seems pretty patient and I haven't scared him off yet, so I guess that's better than I expected.


Title: Re: Got a date...
Post by: arn131arn on February 10, 2014, 12:56:33 AM
I think it's good that you've still got it.  :)

I definitely caution against starting a relationship right now though. You're definitely still pretty fresh out of your last relationships and you've got so many emotions still tied up in all the stuff going on with that. The way I got messed up with my BPDex to begin with was starting a relationship with her when I was still fresh off my previous one. I think that's how I overlooked a lot of the red flags.

Nothing wrong with Ole Arn getting a little action though. Just make sure you're ready before putting any emotions into it.

I made a commitment with myself, my AA sponser and my P to not get into a RS. I did however enjoy my time tonight. It was nothing serious, really. It was different than I am used to right now.  Nights behind the bar, you get allot of woman under the influence that love your eyes, or your nose, or how your jeans fit, or that "something" about you.  Really? Or you get that New Year's Eve kiss from the pretty drunk older woman... . but this was definately different. 

We studied, I was nervous, we goofed off, and it was just different. I was able to talk to another woman without being under the influence. I was able to talk to a woman who was not under the influence, and not use my bartender sarcasm to play her. This has been one of my fears, not being able to do that, but I did it tonight with some success... . my ex and I started when I was still drinking. I drank throughout that RS. That's how I dealt with it with some years scattered here and there with sobriety.  Not looking to get into her pants (hurt people hurt people), and that's really not how I'm trying to live my life now anyways.

If anything, I made a friend, right?  We have plans to get through this difficult class together, probably the hardest in an engineering curriculum.

She never mentioned her "daddy" once... . sigh