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Title: Text recieved after 3 weeks Post by: icecream on February 10, 2014, 01:07:49 AM 3 weeks of no contact, silence... .
we tried a friendship for 2 years after a short romance. During that time i came to figure out her confusion as being BPD. And the situation only made me hurt more in the aftermath of thinking there was more and she was a different woman when things were romantic. I've tried to be a friend and noticed i've been manupulated and lied to keep me on the hook by sending mixed texts and stuff... while she was involved in other romances... . I've learned a lot online, try to set bounderies for myself, detaching in mind and heart... . i've grown for sure. This morning after 3 weeks of silence, she seems to be moved in with her new partner... . i got a text; -Hi, how are you? -I'm so exhausted from moving This explains it again and those 2 lines are just a way again to see if i bite... . i'm so happy, while i read it it didnt moved me... . cold, but proud i'm seeing her pattern. This time she wont get a reply... . no more... . and i dont feel guilty at all! Title: Re: Text recieved after 3 weeks Post by: Moonie75 on February 10, 2014, 01:17:34 AM Good for you Icecream.
Better to get your thoughts down here, on the boards, than replying. Sounds like you're doing well with detaching? Moonie Title: Re: Text recieved after 3 weeks Post by: arn131arn on February 10, 2014, 01:20:56 AM 3 weeks of no contact, silence... . we tried a friendship for 2 years after a short romance. During that time i came to figure out her confusion as being BPD. And the situation only made me hurt more in the aftermath of thinking there was more and she was a different woman when things were romantic. I've tried to be a friend and noticed i've been manupulated and lied to keep me on the hook by sending mixed texts and stuff... while she was involved in other romances... . I've learned a lot online, try to set bounderies for myself, detaching in mind and heart... . i've grown for sure. This morning after 3 weeks of silence, she seems to be moved in with her new partner... . i got a text; -Hi, how are you? -I'm so exhausted from moving This explains it again and those 2 lines are just a way again to see if i bite... . i'm so happy, while i read it it didnt moved me... . cold, but proud i'm seeing her pattern. This time she wont get a reply... . no more... . and i dont feel guilty at all! This is the kind of hit that makes me hate them! Seriously? You need to text me to tell me your exhausted from moving in with your new man... . pathetic. Stay strong, and job well done. Radio silence from here on out Title: Re: Text recieved after 3 weeks Post by: icecream on February 10, 2014, 01:35:25 AM Thank you for the support!
Its crazy really, no sense of empathy at all... . oh, she asks how i am but thats just a way to start to get me in in her world. Does she honestly think i'm happy for her moving? What does she expect from me... . and there is the answer: my needs simply dont matter at all... Title: Re: Text recieved after 3 weeks Post by: icecream on February 10, 2014, 05:42:04 AM What helped me a lot to detach and to let it go is the question i asked myself:
"do i see a future with this dysfunctional woman who she is today, will her total package make me happy to have a loveable relationship with someone who can build a beautiful band with me and at a longdistance?" the answer, well overtought... NO, it isnt possible... . even for friendship we have different values, so i'm not going to let it ruin my life no more... . I dont have to hide, I dont have to run, i just am allowed to be were i want to without letting her hurt me more. I am an adult, can look her straight in the eye if life puts us on the same place in time, done nothing wrong and gave it the best i could, but time to enjoy life for myself, we only have one! |