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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: montanesa on February 10, 2014, 05:50:20 AM



Title: Talking with his doctor
Post by: montanesa on February 10, 2014, 05:50:20 AM
Hello!

I just got back from a weekend away at work. I found uBPDh on the couch and he hadn't eaten more than a salad all weekend. His speech was slurred and he wasn't walking properly. I get the feeling that it was severe anxiety and/or depression. However, since I was scared I immediately prepared him lunch and begged him to eat. Since I was "making him do it", he refused. Now, of course, he's telling me I did the wrong thing by "Barking at him right when I got home instead of teling him 'hello honey, I missed you, let's go do something.'" He didn't even know what day it was!

I've had enough and I've got an appointment to talk to our Primary Care Physician tomorrow morning. I'm going to explain everything to her and ask what would be the best next step. He won't seek care, but I want to talk to someone to learn how to better deal with something like this.

Am I doing the right thing?


Title: Re: Talking with his doctor
Post by: montanesa on February 11, 2014, 03:53:33 PM
Ok, so never mind. I talked with the doc this morning. She was amazing. In addition to all her help, she told me I must tell uBPDh that I spoke with her.

The "best" part is that tonight, he made a comment about being sick of feeling this way. I told him that I had spoke with the doctor. His reaction made me feel really bad. He started to shake. "These things are private. I just want people to know me for good things. If I were to seek help, I would go to  a private doctor*." He went off to take a shower. After the shower he came downstairs and told me that if I was going to talk to the doctor about him in the future that he wanted to go. I apologized. He said, "It's ok, you didn't do it malevolently."

I feel so bad, but I am praying that today is a turning point.




*We have public healthcare here, with private docs available if you're willing to pay.