BPDFamily.com

It seems many have taken up to 1-2 years after a breakup to recover. To the point where even thinking of your BPDex does not hurt anymore. I am barely 3 months into the breakup with a month of NC. I am slowly getting better, less depressed, but i still wake up sometimes sad for some reason. I just want to get to that point where it does not hurt anymore.

How long did it take you to recover and/or date again?

I was ready to date about six months after, but waited eleven months. The marriage had ended four years earlier when he got the BPD diagnosis, yet refused treatment.  I met someone wonderful six months after. We've been in a happy, exclusive relationship for five months.

But, every one has their own wounds, healing, and time line.

I think it took me about 5 months NC to start a new relationship, but that didn't work out. I was much happier but I still felt that I had some issues I had not dealt with.

Now, it's been 2 years NC and in that time I have become a much more independent, happy person. Now I feel ready to start dating again, but because I am so comfortable being on my own, I don't think I'll have any trouble saying goodbye to a relationship with red flags.

Don't worry Pinoypride, things will get better! Just keep working on yourself :)

Yes the key is to work on yourself. If you try to RUSH into a relationship without fully healing from the one that just ended you will most likely be unhappy with the new r/s. Find yourself first. Be happy on your own first don't look for someone else to make you happy (that's what pwBPD do and need). If you're happy by yourself you have a greater chance of ending up in a HEALTHY relationship.  Just being in a relationship is not a guarantee that you will be happy, in fact it could make you feel worse!

Might I recommend a wonderful support group called divorce care! Google it for meetings in your area.