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I have not dated many girls before my exBPD but she was my longest relationship. I currently consider my exBPD thee worse relationship i have had and maybe will ever have. Unhealthy and one-sided and she was a soul sucking b!tch. Which makes me happy that the next girl will be a step up.

Was the BPD thee worse relationship you have ever been in?

and was your next relationship a big step up?

Yes, it was the best of times, and it was the worst of times.

I do not think I have ever met a man as cruel as my ex husband.

The new relationship is interesting right now... . I think he's going to be a good one. Very solid, stable and caring. Time will tell.

Hugs,

L

My relationship with my borderline ex is a relationship I never should have been in to begin with, a major wake-up call, and the pain and resulting growth is making all of my relationships, romantic and otherwise, better for it, because I'm better. 

Mine was a 9 year relationship.  3 years living together (off and on) and 6 years married.

The first 2 years were the best years of my life.  I thought is was too good to be true and I was right.

The next few years were up and down but generally OK.  The last 2 years were the worst years of my life and I cannot believe I put up with it all when I look back.

I keep telling myself that I haven't wasted all that time.  I have learned from it.

Ha the absolute worst,

We created a cartoonish fantasy of my desires, nightmarish in the extreme. She begged manipulated and adapted like a sponge. It was all control from the word go. She then sadistically broke all the pieces leaving me to save and solve each piece of my life. Hideous would not discribe the nightmare journey. These are dark places I have been, I feel very differently now about almost everything. Love is more precious and rare than I had been led to believe. The ability to Love is not universal.

I would easily consider my ex pwBPD the worst person I've ever encountered.

I'm not sure.  I was in heavily lost in the FOG while trying to survive my childhood with my mentally ill mother.   My mother was not close to being as ill as my ex.  But the trauma during my childhood was more intense, because I was a child.

I think that I've suppressed much of that trauma, because what I'm learning is that my interaction with my xwBPD was pretty much a recreation of the initial trauma, where I had to comfort and absorb the terror and pain of my recently widowed and mentally ill mother.

Poster 2010 seminal Lonely Child/Abandoned Child post was a pure wake up call for me. And one of the key points was:



After we've let fantasy go- we can turn the focus to healing.  It's good to wonder what our attraction must have been to this person. Whatever clues you have are generally good enough to give you reason that you’ve had experience with this type of personality before- perhaps within your family of origin.

Stop yourself from thinking that you’ve never been treated so poorly before this relationship. When you catch yourself saying you can't believe it. Stop and think. Chances are- you’ve just chosen to repress a few circumstances from childhood that were traumatic. Now the feelings are back on the surface and you’re going to have to address them.

 

Worst relationship I've ever been in?  Without question.  I didn't know people like my ex-girlfriend existed. To treat someone like an object, so horribly, using them as a tool to project your own shortcomings on, taking their money, stealing their time, and destroying their personality, all while looking right at you and telling you they love you. I would have rather been mugged, beaten, and robbed at gunpoint, at least that I would understand. If my antagonist was a criminal, I could identify and understand him, not my exgf, hiding in plain sight behind a cloak of artificial beauty.

I lost my business franchise dealing with her insane behavior, my fault in the end but still... .

Then she told me "Good luck being broke your obviously the type of person who is only worth the amount of money in his pocket"   After the only thing I did wrong was uncover the truth about her gas-lighting, lies, manipulation and gross infidelity.

"I'm so in love with (replacement) we are going to get married and have kids right away" was the last text I got from her.    If someone would book a wager on my exgf(Fiance) surviving on one dick for the rest of her life, I would bet everything I owned against her. Then I would take everything I won and pay someone to erase how she treated me from my memory.

I would have rather have gotten leukemia, at least that I would understand.

i 100% agree with what you said. i didn't think there were people that could treat people like that and still act like the victim. These people will continue to have bad r/s after bad r/s and will never learn or get it. They are all about take take take and will not hesitate to leave you in the dust feeling confused. If it wasnt for the fact that i learned a lot and grew a bit after the breakup, i wouldnt have stayed. But she will never learn and grow from this and continue to be a child who acts out

Worst relationship ever? I had never ended a r/s and had to maintain no contact until this b/u with my uBPD/NPD of 3+ years.  I don't trust her and I will never put myself in a situation again where she could emotionally abuse me like she did during the past few years.  Enough said... .  

Best and worst relationship ever.  Never had I felt so truly accepted for being "just me", never had I felt so loved.  Never had I felt so utterly abandoned and emotionally murdered.  He was the most beautiful butcher I have ever come across.

It didn't seem like the worst, I can attribute a lot of that to the fact that I wasn't aware of a lot that was taking place behind my back, but it wasn't great either.  The ending was absolutely terrible, but it was just the slap in the face I needed to wake me up to my own emotional baggage.  I had a lot of issues that I wasn't willing to face or even admit to myself, but life has a funny way working out sometimes.

From the inside of the relationship, I guess it didn't seem that bad, but in retrospect, knowing what I know now, it was f***ing terrible.  And what they say is true, the pattern really does repeat.  I'm a year and a half out, permanently as far as I'm concerned, and guess who's hitting me up behind her boyfriend's back?  It looked like either a recycle attempt or a booty call, either way I'm disgusted because I know that's exactly what was going on behind my back the whole time we were together.  The replacement has no clue what he's gotten involved with.

No... . i dont see it as the worse relationship ever.

it was a very intense relationship. the highest highs and some very very lows too... . still hurts! arggh

but this r/s changed my life.  brought awarness of my own neediness and stuff... so it balances out

i am finding hard to detach as i truly enjoyed the amazing experience that was the honeymoon... . i doubt i would have had that with a non BPD... .   (yes turned very bitter, but it was superb for a while... )