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Title: What am I supposed to do? Post by: lonelyalltheway on February 20, 2014, 10:00:51 AM my BPD ex bf moved on with my best friend after 2 weeks of our breakup. my best friend who knows about my relationship with him still didn't even bother about me... how the hell Am i supposed to deal with this betrayal in my life?
it really makes me feel sick and dead sometimes. Title: Re: What am I supposed to do? Post by: heartandwhole on February 20, 2014, 10:11:44 AM Oh, lonelyalltheway, I'm so sorry. That is so very, very hurtful, and feeling sick about it is totally understandable. A blow like that would floor me, too.
Are you in communication with either of them? Deep breaths, lonely, and keep writing. We care. Title: Re: What am I supposed to do? Post by: lonelyalltheway on February 20, 2014, 10:20:47 AM my so called best friend doesnt even care and talk to me. she totally ignored me as i told her i dont wanna be in touch.
my ex bf contacts me very often when he feels lonely. I think when ever they both have some fight or something, then he contacts me because i think disorder is like that... attachment disorder... but i got really pissed off and i cut of all my contact with him since 3 months ... Title: Re: What am I supposed to do? Post by: lonelyalltheway on February 20, 2014, 10:31:33 AM I have heard of this word called Triangulation (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=121673.0)... that says it all.
Title: Re: What am I supposed to do? Post by: Learning_curve74 on February 20, 2014, 01:31:54 PM I'm so sorry to hear that, lonelyalltheway. To be betrayed by both your exbf and best friend like that... . it's gotta hurt. A big hug to you.
It's okay to cry, scream, go do a marathon gym session, hit old pillows with a baseball bat, watch a favorite movie, walk in your favorite park, write in your personal journal, or anything else that helps you express your emotions out or at least ride through them. We're here to listen if you need somebody to understand. As heartandwhole said, please keep writing. Hang in there. Title: Re: What am I supposed to do? Post by: bpdspell on February 20, 2014, 06:20:43 PM Your "ex" friend doesn't deserve to have the word "best" anything. She is simply not a friend. Period.
To have this happen is the worst kind of betrayal but the actions of these two have nothing to do with you. If you can muster the strength I'd recommend going no contact to protect yourself from any further emotional damage. By allowing your ex to have contact with you puts you in the midst of Triangulation (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=121673.0) where the "ex" gets all of the attention at the expense of two women. It also sends the message to your ex that you are game to be disrespected, devalued, and recycled whenever he pleases. I was triangulated by my ex too and it's the worst pain to feel that someone you love is sharing their love with someone else. The only way out is to remove a leg from the stool. You will survive this. It hurts but you will grow from this pain. Keep posting and reading. Spell Title: Re: What am I supposed to do? Post by: lonelyalltheway on February 20, 2014, 06:46:28 PM Thank you guys for the support. I am not sure how am I gonna survive. I just can't see them like this. I sometimes feel like taking revenge and teach them a lesson. Its becoming very hard for me to trust someone new.
Title: Re: What am I supposed to do? Post by: lonelyalltheway on February 20, 2014, 06:50:32 PM My ex told me that he had BPD, but now its diagnosed. Can this kind of disorder be cured in 6 months?
Title: Re: What am I supposed to do? Post by: bpdspell on February 20, 2014, 08:37:39 PM My ex told me that he had BPD, but now its diagnosed. Can this kind of disorder be cured in 6 months? Absolutely not. Maybe six years. Title: Re: What am I supposed to do? Post by: winston72 on February 20, 2014, 09:22:42 PM Wow, LonelyAlltheWay... . I would like to add my heartfelt sympathy to the others... . that is really appalling. My ex cheated on my for almost a year of our relationship. The discovery of it just about killed me. And it was not with anyone I knew... . I cannot imagine the addition of that pain to it all.
My ability to trust others has not fully returned, but it is well on its way. I came to view the betrayal in my life as a severe "injury". When I started to view it this way, I could give myself time and patience for the wound to stop being inflamed, to begin to heal, to need rest and than to begin a slow process of recovery and strengthening. It just takes time. No contact is wise. Relationships born out of such betrayal and deception are not based on a solid foundation... . obviously! |