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I wanted to ask if any of you had this feeling... .

Did you feel like your ex wanted you to devote every single moment to them?

Like having no job, no family, no friends or interests outside of them? Like you would be their prisoner, never leaving their side, being so attached that no one and nothing could come between you?

I hate to say this, but I think my ex would have been happy if I could just pay attention to him every single second of the day. Never being apart. Like he would almost absorb me.

Does this ring true to any of you?

L

This was my exgfwBPD. She got upset if I talked, text friends, went to school or work. She'd make me feel bad if I didn't stay with her. Then went on for weeks then she pulled away and went silent. And I was left thinking, what the heck?

Yup... . but when I did pay sole attention to her she freaked out and said I was controlling and she needed her own space.  So go figure

Yep.  My business went to hell and I didn't make very much money when I was with her, too high maintenance, my fault for putting up with it of course, but she was a full time project with overtime.  Oh, and take more than 3 or 4 rings to answer the phone?  That made me an asshle, it was obviously because I was cheating on her, and I got an earfull.  Sheesh. 

Think about a traumatized three-year old living in pain and terror, with no sense of  self and abandonment/engulfment issues. 

That three year old, wants you in the room with them at all times, but yet doesn't always want you to engage with him, but then does want your attention, but can't bear the thought of you ever leaving the room even for a moment, but... .

And think about the insanity and confusion you would feel if you turned over most of you self will to that traumatized three year old?

Hey wait a second... . I did turn over my self will to that traumatized three year old.  Maybe that's why I feel like lousy and confused a lot  :) :) :) :)

It's gotten much better for me as the FOG clears.

She totally tried to isolate me and succeeded everywhere but my kids. After 3 years she had only met my son a couple of times and never met my daughter.  She was scared to death of them. The last month we dated she actually came over when my kids were with me. It was almost bedtime. She didn't come inside but asked me to meet her in the pool house. I told the kids where I was going and we began to watch a movie. A while later I told her I needed to check on the kids. I came back and she asked me to spend the night with her in the pool house while my kids were in the house!  I was so in the FOG that I actually considered it!  Finally I told her I was going inside and she could do whatever she wanted. The kids were already sleeping so she came inside and spent the night but left before they woke up. Nuts!  What the hell was I thinking?

She also had me convinced that I hated my job and I own it with my brother.

This is exactly what my ex wanted.  He very nearly achieved it.