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Did any of you experienced the fact that you are a less resistant to stress after a BPD break up? I am a business owner. I have to deal with customers everyday. I used to be before my break up the most patient person ever with the customer and my employees but it seems like now I can get really stressed easily. Also, I find that I can stand people whining for no reason, thing my ex would do on a daily basis.

dzstyle,

Yes. It's quite common after a difficult breakup to be on edge.  I felt hyper sensitive about everything and everyone, fragile, and easily frustrated.  It's part of the grieving process.

I needed lots of time alone, to take care of myself and feel my feelings.  It was hard, because of course my feelings would come out when I was at work or with other people mostly – they don't come out on our timetables, do they?

What do you do to help manage the stress dzstyle?

Well, for now I m seeing a T. So far, he didn't give me any tips to manage the stress. For him, I have to let my emotions out (I am an anxious person. I was treated for COD 3 years ago and he noticed that I couldn't feel any sadness. the only negative emotion I can feel is anxiety). I ve read a lot of articles so far. what I do when I'm stressed, I try to focus on the biology of stress and tell myself that it is my body that is over reacting to a danger that doesn't even exist. It doesnt work everytime but it does require a lot of energy to tell your mind and body to stop reacting that way. Do you have any tip that could help me more?

DZSTYLE-Is it stress that you feel, or anxiety?  The reason I ask is I have had the same thoughts as you and I think mine is 100% anxiety (as opposed to stress).  I found that working out helps me a great deal.  I am also like Forrest Gump and run/walk a lot.  Anxiety and stress can feel alike.  Anything that frees your mind is good.

It is a lot of anxiety which I think is triggered by stress.I have social anxiety but I noticed that working out doesn't help that much (my mind still processes a lot info while i m working out). I went on a trip to Europe in the purpose to change my mind and it didn't work out either.

Getting body-centered can help a lot.  Feeling sensations in the body, and focusing very intently on them. I'm a fan of yoga, meditation, breathing.  I like to focus on the cool air that passes through the nostrils when I inhale, and the warm air that goes out with the exhale, for example.  Sounds wacky, but if you sit quietly and really focus on the the temperature of the air, and the sensations as it passes through, it can be very calming. 

Some people focus on a mantra.  Others take a long walk, swim, or spend time with a pet.  Do you have a hobby or project that engages your mind for an extended period? 

I know it's not easy, dz.  The mind is really good at pulling us in, but every second of feeling what you feel without judgment helps.