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Title: It's official..cut off from extended family Post by: itsnotme on February 21, 2014, 07:35:40 PM It shouldn't bother me as much as it is. If I truly was an ass then I would be ok with it. But I didn't do anything to ANYONE!
I congratulated my aunt on her new granddaughter via Facebook private message- I did not receive a message back (unusual from her) so it's official, she has painted me black to everyone. This isn't the first clue... . no one calling/texting/fb me on my birthday last month was when I kinda knew. Now I know for sure. Just needed to get off my chest. The good news I'm not crying about it. I guess my skin is getting a little thicker. Title: Re: It's official..cut off from extended family Post by: Sitara on February 21, 2014, 09:15:42 PM I'm sorry to hear that. My mom cut us off from extended family while we were still children, but as I set up boundaries with my mom, she and my immediate family all stopped talking to me. It was the only family I had left, so she successfully took that all away from me. So I understand what you're going through.
Title: Re: It's official..cut off from extended family Post by: lucyhoneychurch on February 22, 2014, 05:32:33 AM One aunt, who died in 2009, was the only one who perservered (sp?) in calling me and maintaining contact. My late mother wasn't the only one blacking me - my father smeared me to his side of the family too.
Dear Abby or Ann Landers whichever used to ask about failed relationships, "Are you better off with him/her or without him/her?" We have to ask ourselves if having and maintaining NC with our abuser(s) means we lose bystander types, that's the price we pay for the peace in our lives. We know how bad it was. Those bystanders either don't or don't care enough to ever ask. I was okay with the radio silence from extended family because my day to day life was so vastly hugely incredibly improved with NC. Freedom usually has a cost. That's ours, for the NC, unless one brave little soul like my beloved late aunt remembers how much they cherish us and willing to spell it out. I grieve for her. Miss her dearly. So sorry for your banishment/shunning/hurt. Think of it like a cult. When you walk away from a cult, from what I hear, you are "dead" to them. We have to be content as "ghosts" to have our lives and remember that we know what we know. Big hug I can hear your hurt. |