BPDFamily.com

hello lovelies  :) 

i just wanted to share a couple of things i've found useful trying to deal with my current pwBPD breakup/DV trauma.

just then i was curled up in a well of despair, so i jumped up and did 100 star jumps. it sounds crazy, but it really helped! 

also, i find changing the picture on your phone/computer desktop background helps you subconsciously. it means there's one less thing they may have seen/commented on/could remind you of them and def makes me feel like I'm sort of making  a fresh start.

i also spent the first few weeks writing countless letters to my exdBPDbf. i have no intention of ever giving them to him, but it really really helped me sort out my thoughts and gave me a release for my feelings. i imagine i can also burn/dispose of the letters once some time has elapsed and that will be a cathartic experience also.

i hope this helps! please share anything that's helped you to cope!

 

I can feel your positive energy through your post.

I haven't discovered to many things that make me deal with this yet.  I guess Im a very slow learner.

Thank you for your post though.  Even the hearts at the end made me feel better :)

That's cool!

I've started going to the gym myself and I think it helps an awful lot, nor only releases stress but also gives u a confidence boost.

I also kept all of his nasty messages so I can read them whenever I start to feel sorry for myself or miss him.

Working out/gym has been my salvation.  It's been cardio first thing in the morning and then a couple of hours in the gym at night.  The endorphins are our bodies way of dealing with pain, stress and hurt and they are the best miracle "drug" out there.  The results from all of the working out are of course a big time added benefit. 

i am with you... . getting up and moving really helps. also, deleting all pics and blocking them on my phone and all social media was huge for me.

I painted the main room in my home. Did an accent wall in the dining area. Looks very different. Took down pictures and hung new ones. Threw out some of the books she left (still more to go through). Changed my bed around so it looks like a different room, and what a difference that small change made. Spaced my clothes out in the large closet we used to share (still need to work on that). Went for a long, cross-country hike on Saturday. Got a little dirty, wet and a little dangerous traversing a sandstone formation that was slippery and steep. Hung out with some friends who came to my area to visit relatives of theirs that live near to me. Reading and listening to music (always these two, not much has changed about that).

The gym works great for me as well.  I have been doing projects around the house.  I think I need to add some volunteer work.  I want to get out and be with people more, but don't want to date or get involved with anyone yet.  Basically anything with a good positive purpose works well for me (btw, these are things I should have been doing all along).

Yep, the thought of dating someone new is too crazy to consider right now... . def need to heal myself before dumping my residual baggage onto someone   

Putting aside a little bit of time for sketching and drawing can be really therapeutic as well. It doesn't matter if your drawings are s#@%, it's more about zoning out and clearing your mind as you draw. It can be very meditative.

Also, it helps for me me to look at the bigger picture. While I'm in an immense amount of pain right now, I keep seeing the upside- I don't have BPD! I am capable of a wholesome, loving, reciprocal relationship, and I am confident that I will find this in time. We can't omit optimism guys- we should be grateful that we are mentally healthy, and we are hurting so much because we CAN feel and recognise these emotions in a constructive way, and take steps to heal. Our BPD counterparts have no such luck.