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I've figured out his game. He's like a damsel in distress, man-style. I keep seeing his desperate posts about needing a woman to steal him away, sleeping in a woman's bed but missing his ex, being single, wanting to slit his throat because he's broken, and finally, saying he hopes death finds him tonight.

IT IS RIDICULOUS. It actually makes the pain of the fact that he could never trust me enough to get close to me - BECAUSE I TREATED HIM GOOD AND ACTUALLY LOVED HIM - much more bearable. I see the disorder and how horrible his life must be.

I'm also - through reading - beginning to understand why he would never get close to me. A pwBPD's sexuality is one of the main ways they express themselves in their stunted emotional state and is the ultimate form of control. I set a boundary early on and told him no.

In the end, he point-blank asked me - after all the times he would tell me he wanted to come over but shouldn't because he's very persuasive and can't control himself - if he could have sex with me. I told him no, and that I needed his heart in return before I would connect with him on that level. His response? "That's impossible, I have no heart."

I think he told me we'd never be anything because he tried a second time to get me to have sex with him - and exert enough control to where he felt more trusting of me - and I denied him. Then, he decided to cut me out when I got upset at this "good, good friends" contract he was offering me.

It just shows me what I meant to him. The damsel in distress is on to a more controllable object. It kind of makes me feel better that I might have a shred of self-respect, after an abusive mother, psychopathic ex, and this pwBPD.

I'm the ONE friend he's never dated. I kinda like that title.  It's probably why he bashed my religion of Christianity... . my moral convictions stunted his control over me. Ha!

That's one thing to smile about. :)

Good for you, and also for standing up for you faith; it gives you the center and strength to establish those clear boundaries.

misssouthernbelle,

You were true to your values, and that really is something to be happy about.  Many of us compromised our values for the relationship, and that causes more feelings of guilt and anger at ourselves.  Good for you – you respected yourself enough to do what you knew was right for you.

|iiii

Thank you for posting this today.

The ridiculousness of it all is so what I needed to be reminded of.

I was feeling kinda low today and missing my ex.  Your post brought the insanity if it all back to the forefront of my mind.  We are nc now and have been but I can remember very well how ridiculous her responses could get to trivial things!

Thank you so much!