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will my sib get the black treatment now I'm not about or does the status stay the same, me being the black. Maybe even improving the situ for my sib?

Thanks for all responses to last post but still can't get clear on this. (Maybe there isn't a clear answer)

Thanks again, SS x

I'm not sure. When I went NC with my Mom, she started treating my father way better than before. It's a tough nut to crack when it comes to the psychologically unstable person.

Thanku! strangerinparadise... . yea I was thinking that could be a possibility; 'balls anyone is going to leave me, better make an effort' some abandonment fear or something.

Even before I went VLC my mom would switch between which of us two she was nice to and not.  She'd go for periods where she'd have nothing but bad things to say about my sis and good things about me, then suddenly it would flip. As I started to pull away, her and my sister became closer buddies, shopping together, meeting up several times a week, going to each other's houses.  So, although I don't really know what is going on with them at the moment, I can only assume that they're best friends right now.

I don't know that this is a benefit or not. When my mom is your buddy, she buys you a bunch of stuff but you also have to put up with her nagging and opinions about how you should be running your life.

I don't think there is really a clear cut answer that you're looking for.

Cheers Sitara for the insight, yea no clear cut most prob the case. I think she will get closer to sib at first then depending on sib reaction (because they're learning slowly), closer still or relationship will collapse.

yea I think that's as far as I can go on understanding that one.