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Things are really looking up... . I have just got my dream job which involves a relocation back to be nearer my family, much larger salary   and a life-changing event.

Am feeling very happy.

I made the announcement on facebook this morning, but before I did that I blocked my ex who I am still friends with on there.  This is the final step in detaching from him (after a 7 year relationship).  He doesn't deserve the respect of finding this news out from me.  It has taken A LOT of courage to do this and I'm feeling a bit lost. 

I'm looking for reassurance from people.  I know I've done the right thing but it's still a bit of a wrench.  Ridiculously, I'm thinking of how he is going to feel when he finds I'm not in his friends list and he can't find me on there.  This is stupid-I'm still thinking of him rather than my mental health!

Exactly. When you block him it shouldn't be about how he feels when he finds out. You do this because he is not a part of your life anymore and thus anything on Facebook that you post about your life doesn't concern him anymore.

Don't forget to make your profile private (friends only) and then do the same thing with your friends list. There is no need for an ex to know anything about your current life.

 

I understand you needing reassurance!  I was concerned about the same thing when I blocked my ex.  It scary! I was worried about how she would react.  I was worried about cutting that final tie as well now that I look back on it.

I decided I didn't care how she felt when she found out she was blocked... . I needed to do it for me.  Not because I had a new job... . congrats btw!  But because she honestly did not need to know about anything in my life!

I worried about repercussions of course... . but that was just another way she still had control over me and I hated that.

So I tend to play games with myself. Whenever I feel like breaking nc. Or if I decided I didn't want her blocked on fb I would wait 24 hours.  If I still felt the same after that period of time I would contact her or unblock her.

It's been about 8 weeks now and I have not done so:)

Our feelings are so volatile when we  leave any relationship... especially one that was just a fantasy.  If I gave myself 24 hours my feelings always have changed back again.

It has helped hugely to have her blocked.  She blindsided me by trying to follow my other social media but I simply blocked those too.  Right now I have fb shut down completely as we have many mutual friends and even blocked she was playing games... but that is because I knew yesterday was her birthday and I needed to step far enough away to protect myself.

What your doing (the blocking) is not easy.  It's scary.  But I also find it one very important step to taking care of you and getting out of the FOG

Be proud of yourself!

Amu

Hi Lizzie3,

Congratulations on your new job and new life!  That is really exciting.   |iiii

I can understand your conflicted feelings about blocking your ex on FB.  What were your reasons for blocking him?  There might be something there that might explain the anxiety.

You are not responsible for his feelings.  He will have to deal with them on his own, just as you have had to deal with yours after the breakup.  It'll be okay.  Keep going with your new life and new goals.  Things are getting better, Lizzie! 

I agree, especially hiding your friends list, I just re activated my fb profile yesterday and did the same, my ex harrased a few of my closest friends badly... .

Good work on the blocking lizzie,this will all get easier in time:)

congrats!... . with everything. you are taking a big step by blocking your ex. i have done the same and i am much happier for it. did you block her phone #?... . that helped me as well.