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“Who didn’t grow up in a dysfunctional home?” asks Williamson. “The world is dysfunctional! But there is nothing we have been through, or seen, or done, that cannot be used to make our lives more valuable now. We can grow from any experience, and we can transcend any experience.”

Hi    love this... . how true... .

Just now seeing Cold Mountain even though I read the book eons ago... . and watching Nicole Kidman comment on her role as Ada... . and how Ruby and Ada are such a good team... . and her thoughts about *adversity,* and you sit there and know she had so much heartache with her marriage with Tom Cruise (not really concerned about blame, just know they obviously didn't work) and she said that when you get through adversity, whatever it might be, whatever kind of issues, you will be stronger just because you came through it.

Also watched the end of 12 Years a Slave... . and how Solomon for some reason apologized to his family as he was reunited with them - even though he was drugged and kidnapped as a free man and SOLD into slavery - and the beatings - the tears running down his face with "Master" Epps being such a brutal vicious human being, not just a slave owner (that will always indicate a brutality for me, no matter the "system" or the way it "was" but a horror of a man, driven by a woman so blinded by jealousy and hate for Patsey that she stood and watched Patsey literally torn to ribbons at her husband's hands for... . getting a piece of soap from a neighboring "mistress." She would not allow Patsey a bar of soap.

I found myself holding my breath during the tearing of Patsey's flesh... . I couldn't breathe... . I couldn't cry. I remember a leather belt of my father's being used on me, not by him, but by my mother and curled down into a fetal ball on the floor and even then she wouldn't stop.

If you cried out, cried at all, "I'll give you something to cry about."

To a 2nd grader  :'(

A skinny little girl.

For whatever reason... . I do not know how you can treat a child in such a way... . nor a woman you consider your property, as in this film, as usually if you went too far and killed her with your abuse... . you lost your "investment."  :'(

As Patsey said up into Master Epps' face, "I *WILL* be clean, " when she was trying to explain why she was briefly gone on the Sabbath of all days... . to get some soap.

We will be clean.    

Her compassionate loving fellow slaves attempting to salve and treat her back and its wounds... . oh god... .

Adversity - funny how an actress portraying a privileged elegant society young lady from the deep South, beloved by her pastor father, and this young ebony princess of a slave, who has spoken about finding peace with her dark complexion, asking all young women to be kind to themselves, I think so much of both actresses - they have so much in common.

How do they live to see the sun rise the next day? what do they say to themselves, just like we have to, in order to see it through?

Transcendence. What a lovely word. Even the way it looks on the page.

"We can transcend any experience." hear hear    |iiii

 :),

SS x

Yes, the world is dysfunctional. The results are war, bad economies, crime, corruption, etc. We can, on an individual basis, refuse to be dysfunctional.

Yes, hearing you Contradancer. RISE in empathy a good start

Great quote! I try to reframe and reuse my maladaptive coping mechanisms as much as possible. For example:

I am grateful that the instability i was brought up in makes me great in a crisis.

I am grateful that my attending to her needs made me very in-tune w the needs of others.

. . .that i ask "WHY?" about everything and challenge the status quot.

. . .that i am better equipped to help and validate others in the same situation.


. . . . . .

Hi please validate

I just wanted to add that asking why challenging the status quo is such a useful skill that really can enrich your life.  I also try to remember that this curse of BPD has given me some gifts and made me the unique person I am.

Hello Islandgrl, for me challenging the status quo is a valuable thing to do for the good of humanity, the planet. There are a lot of things we don't get right and by challenging this, new ways of thinking can lead to things being done better, whether that's by treating each other better or improving something for development on a wider, even global level. It's how we move forward and improve as humans. How it enriches your life personally? = if everyone did this it would be a better place to live; so you can reap the benefits that way but also live knowing you are living a good ethical life, that you want to make a difference, that you are a positive force in an increasingly apathetic society that has given up trying in a pool of ignorance, that neglects and lets people suffer. So burning brightly is a good thing. Good people if they have the drive should move forward to counter the wrong mindsets. People who don't challenge are unwittingly letting this happen. If you lay down, this way of thinking will stuff the planet/people and allow people to be taken from. Ruthless thinking takes advantage of the people caught in the trap of the 'comfortable' status quo. In ref to the economy; Capitalism and Narcissism support each other... . meaning there that Narc behavior is rewarded.