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Title: Resources for those considering leaving an unchosen relationship? Post by: losingconfidence on March 18, 2014, 05:02:22 PM I'm considering going NC with my family and wondering if there are any good resources about this. Particularly, about the guilt and what to do with the feeling that I owe them, that I couldn't do this to them, etc, which goes on even though I know I'm not safe around them.
Title: Re: Resources for those considering leaving an unchosen relationship? Post by: Sitara on March 19, 2014, 11:26:31 AM Other than the resources you can find here, I'm not aware of much outside. Seeing a therapist would probably be a good idea.
I would definitely avoid random searches on the internet because you can run into a lot of negative and triggering stuff, unless you're really good at telling which articles to avoid. Title: Re: Resources for those considering leaving an unchosen relationship? Post by: StarStruck on March 19, 2014, 01:33:14 PM I don't think I have come across any particular resources. I think over the time it took to decide, my guilt evaporated. How not to feel guilty? I really thought about how sure I was with what I believed to be true, what I deserve and need, then how to go about making that happen. That turned out to be NC for me.
Title: Re: Resources for those considering leaving an unchosen relationship? Post by: CrazyNoMore on March 21, 2014, 02:54:30 PM If you're in a situation where you fear for your safety if you go NC, you might check out resources geared towards leaving an abusive spouse.
For instance, when I went NC and moved, I got a PO Box and forwarded my mail there, got an unpublished number, got Caller ID and used it, and got peepholes installed in all my doors. I'd live off ramen noodles for life before I'll give up any of these protections and I've been NC for 16 years. My uBPDM died a few years ago, and I'm STILL not giving them up! Title: Re: Resources for those considering leaving an unchosen relationship? Post by: rebl.brown on March 26, 2014, 03:12:09 AM Your question is one of empowerment. You can be strong enough to do NC and there are resources in every community. I found a major one at the community sexual abuse non profit in my area. Their support group saved my life. I don't know if there is sexual abuse involved for you or not but the type of emotional abuse that a family perpetrates is just as powerful. Most crisis centers would be able to direct you somewhere for help contact social services in your area. You need the support of people who can teach you that you have the right to take your life back. The book "Courage to Heal" may help even if you are not seeking help for sexual abuse.
If you interview a therapist or two find one who understands the dynamics of BPD. A therapist is so important and can really help and perhaps connect you to other people with similar struggles. Thinking and sending good thoughts your way |