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Title: I don't know if I dumped my GF and if she is BPD Post by: Bjack on March 19, 2014, 06:36:37 AM Hi,
I was visiting my gf last weekend. We were together for 6 months and 1 month of LDR. She has a great personality, but sometimes she gets so angry and mean, like she can't control her emotions. Last month she was always complaining I didn't pay attention to her even if I was 100 %. But she has been getting mad over the smallest things and giving me silent treatments with me apologizing when I didn't do anything wrong. So two weekends ago I told her if she wanted to end the relationship that it will not be a big deal, she started to cry and I got her to calm down. But then, two days after she got angry again and gave me the silent treatment even if I was going to visit her last weekend. I went to visit her and she was so mad, she told me she wanted to break up and I told her ok, and she got angry because I was unaffected. We slept together but without touching and she getting angry about everything, but she calmed down again and we spend a lovely day. But again she got angry and so mean I was not able to put up with and I left her place. Since then we have not spoken. I feel she didn't want to break up, she was only testing if I was in love with her. She was keeping telling me that I was not happy with her, I am not in love with her... . Because her mood swings, getting angry, picking fights, craving attention, I think she is BPD. I would like to work on our problems and rekindle the relationship, but first I need to know what I am dealing with, because I will treat her in a different way if she is BPD or not. If she is PBD, do I have any chance to get her back? Title: Re: I don't know if I dumped my GF and if she is BPD Post by: In_n_Out on March 19, 2014, 08:19:00 AM Whew boy - if we could sit down and talk... .
So my advice; take out the BPD and whether or not you think that she has it and take her at face value. Is she the type of person that you want to invest more time with in a r/s? Can you tolerate her rages, the insecurity, and <insert whatever else here>? Because who she is, is who she is whether or not BPD is the cause of it or not and if you think that you can pinpoint the cause, there is no cure and any change would have to come from her own self-motivation to want to change. I would see if she is interested in couples counseling. Again, take out the notion of BPD; it's not your call. See if she will do that with you and if not, then know (as the movie title suggests) it's "As good as it gets" right now. |