BPDFamily.com

In the beginning when i found out he was cheating on me he was lying in my bed crying.  He said the other woman could " see him"

I was pretty upset that he was in my bed crying about her and tried to talk about it with him but he blew it off with some weird excuse.

He used to say he had a powerful ability to "see" people and things... said it was a blessing and a curse.

He said people dont see others because they r in trance and stuck in their "stories"

I made it my mission to try not to do this of course.

I spent years trying to put myself aside to b able to "see" him clearly.

I just couldnt.

Then i was told at the same time i focused too much on him.

So while he judged others for not having this ability, he judged me for trying to "see" him too.  I own my part in becoming over focused but it was crazy making trying to understand what was going on

There was also a part of me that wanted to "see" him like she could because it was soo important to him that his partner could.

Except he worked very hard at creating drama mystery and confusion

Oh my god... . it was crazy making extraordinnaire

Reads erie familair in a way. Yes, it is crazymaking, especially when the fog is lifting. 

My ex would see things that were not there. On one occasion we were outside of our vehicle in the parking lot and talking. She swore that she saw something in the sky, like a UFO. I was looking at the same direction that she was looking at and didn't see anything.

She was convinced, I simply left it alone, but I was worried. I knew she believed it.

I heard this a long time ago: There are three ways in which we judge a person, in order: first, by how they look; second, by what they say; third, by what they do.

The last is the only accurate judge of a person's character.

I'd say you "saw" him for who he really is, no?

Lacking a stable sense of Self, and generally an underdeveloped sense of empathy, how well do they really "See" others? They can't even see themselves. Or if they do, it triggers core shame which they hide by engaging in many of the usual BPD-like behaviors.

It's hard to detach from someone you loved or still love. They key, I think, is stepping back and taking a hard look at what they said and did. I was accused of "lacking character" while at the same time she called herself a woman of character. I read that email and thought, "there is nothing productive in defending myself or engaging in this conversation further," so I didn't. They see the world through a lens distored by their own inner pain and core fears. After a while, they try to drag us into the disorder. Being physically free from them, it's a journey to free our minds from those   that were implanted, which are likely in combination with our own  my-issues. It sounds like you are on your way.

This helped me... . made a  :light: come on in my mind... . Thank you. |iiii