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Im usually really good in these situations, and I was in her initial move out as well. The timing worked out so I'll be the only one home while she goes and grabs the last of her stuff. Im having a bit of a harder day, but maybe to me it seems like Im seeing correlation between how well my day goes emotionally and if she has or has not tried texting me that day... . hmmm... .

Anyways, Im doing a lot better in the week she has been gone, and I want to keep it up, not just for tonight but for the future, and I dont want her to see how she's hurt me (although us nons are pretty good at swallowing up and hiding our own real emotion in the presence of a BPD... . ) so I figured Ill just keep busy with making dinner (awkward, groceries we had bought together and I planned on making for her... . ) and remain generally aloof. We still cant talk about the relationship without me getting to far into it, asking for answers she is too immature or incapable of providing, expecting closure from a person with the emotional intelligence of a 14 year old who made a brash decision to end a year and half live-in relationship. Its pointless, I know it, but a rational mind still searches for rational answers, I suppose.

I guess Im just not sure how to approach this anymore, she "says" she wants to be friends, I use quotes because... . well... . BPDs (especially her) "SAY" a lot of things that dont have much action to back them up. I know its going to be awkward while shes there but I think I'll feel a thousand times better once shes walking out of the door for good. I guess Im worried she still sees me as an "option" or feels overly welcome, because when we were planning on her getting her stuff, she offered to come on a day where no would be home or around (she specifically stated "when no one would be home" and I thought that was a little weird, to think you can walk back into someones home where you dont live anymore, and pack things up? Super not appropriate. She got snippy when I pointed that out.

I guess Im not sure if I had a question or wanted guidance or what... . just kinda wanted to let some feels out.

Its a difficult moment about taking the last stuff. 

I am glad you are better in the last weeks without her.

As for the being friends: I agree with you, it doesn't work for everyone here and certainly not in the first time. I wold focus more on the question: What kind of low contact is working for you? Or do you need some time to go NC first?

And beside this I think is focus on yourself, finding your way in a peaceful live with yourself. Seing old friends, exercising... .

Keep going, HPTL  :)