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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: tinkerbell09 on March 20, 2014, 02:27:53 PM



Title: The BPD ex is trying to bait me out today..sighs..
Post by: tinkerbell09 on March 20, 2014, 02:27:53 PM
Not engaging... . though I know it's going to get worse... . I've left two online communities over his acting out... I draw the line at leaving anymore. It's very hard, and frustrating... . but I know I have to keep NC and not let him bait me... . it took me a long time to see he was doing that with his contact attempts...

... . I'm trying to keep in mind that he has a PD... . and not get sucked in again... thank you for giving me a place to go.


Title: Re: The BPD ex is trying to bait me out today..sighs..
Post by: myself on March 20, 2014, 02:44:59 PM
The best thing to do is don't play along. No response. Sit on your hands if you have to but continue doing what you can to not get hooked again. The longer you stay out, the less you're still in. Many of us are right there with you. We can do this.


Title: Re: The BPD ex is trying to bait me out today..sighs..
Post by: tinkerbell09 on March 20, 2014, 02:53:57 PM
Thank you... :)... . I won't do it anymore, I promised myself no more, no matter how he acts out. Mine was only online... very stupid of me I know... so I can't say he shows up at my house and such, but he sent letters and such until I put a note in at the post to not deliver anymore. It makes it very hard and anxiety producing though to try to go about my electronic business. I guess I should be thankful he's in another country.

... . not the same as in person, I know... . but still very, very hard.


Title: Re: The BPD ex is trying to bait me out today..sighs..
Post by: seeking balance on March 20, 2014, 02:58:32 PM
Not engaging... . though I know it's going to get worse... . I've left two online communities over his acting out... I draw the line at leaving anymore. It's very hard, and frustrating... . but I know I have to keep NC and not let him bait me... . it took me a long time to see he was doing that with his contact attempts...

... . I'm trying to keep in mind that he has a PD... . and not get sucked in again... thank you for giving me a place to go.

You know, if you are being baited, you don't have to leave forever, but take a break for your own mental health... . is this an option since you are talking about an online community?


Title: Re: The BPD ex is trying to bait me out today..sighs..
Post by: tinkerbell09 on March 20, 2014, 03:07:07 PM
Yes... I've blocked him every other way... this is the last one... I was trying to hold on to one last thing, I've had to leave two online communities now over him, including abandoning my old FB and making a new one. I can leave it... it isn't that important really... I guess part of it is that it was a quiet place for me to go and I like it... I have to realize that since I was stupid enough to invite him there months ago... it isn't going to be quiet for awhile.

... it's truly awful having someone stalk you and make hateful comments about you/to you online... . I did this to myself... . sorry, don't mean to sound whiney... just feeling kind of stupid at the moment for getting into the whole thing... . I know better.

... . I can do that... leave it for awhile.


Title: Re: The BPD ex is trying to bait me out today..sighs..
Post by: seeking balance on March 20, 2014, 03:12:18 PM
... it's truly awful having someone stalk you and make hateful comments about you/to you online... . I did this to myself... . sorry, don't mean to sound whiney... just feeling kind of stupid at the moment for getting into the whole thing... . I know better.

It's ok to be whiney sometimes - it does suck having to change our lives drastically because someone who claimed to love us is now seemingly making us miserable.  I get it. 

I tie these things to grief - we are grieving all the changes - not just the relationship and anger is a part of grief.

Hang in there - it really will get better with some time.

Peace,

SB


Title: Re: The BPD ex is trying to bait me out today..sighs..
Post by: tinkerbell09 on March 20, 2014, 03:19:10 PM
Thank you SB... it helps to vent it out. ... I found the hug thing! Good things do happen.:D:D