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Title: Triggers triggers everywhere I guess I need to move and become a hermit. Post by: pinkparchment on March 27, 2014, 05:13:32 PM Today has been rough. I do know why, but it's so small and pathetic I'm not going to share that. I've been weepy and teary all day. I tried to combat that by being strong and deleting the last couple of pieces of media I had of her, the final little video snippet and picture I had saved on my computer. It didn't work.
So I decided to go another route and make a mental list of everything that triggers me and found myself *almost* laughing about it. So here are the things that make me cry/remind me of her/send me into a tailspin: every song I hear concerts, concert advertisements, ticket websites gingers (she wasn't one but her ex was ) elevators libraries Rainbows, anywhere, on anything (All things gay, because well... . she was super gay. And I was super gay for her. ) Any combination of bright colors that could be considered rainbow-esque including tie-dye (anywhere), stripes with more than two colors present, and anything hot pink The HRC logo anything anywhere referring to equality the word "equal" or "Equality" in any context, including on little pink packets (also had a job interview with the equal opportunity employment commission, even that was a trigger!) Cafes milk tea crepes eggs fish fondue cookie butter/biscoff butter passing any place we ate dave and busters driving on her street (it's a major road in my city) passing hotels we stayed in my kids/grandmother/friends/classmates who didn't know we were dating asking me how she's doing hearing or seeing her first name or her nickname (both pretty common) hearing or seeing her family members' names hearing her best friend's name anything related to AA Fibromyalgia commercials dogs cats animals in general the green couch in my study ipads and associated applications namely Skype, FaceTime, spotify etc. Any reference to Harlem Roller derby, and anything involving the words "roller" or "derby" such as high rollers, hair rollers, kentucky derby, or Derby PA. Helmets knee pads mouth guards duct tape qtips mucinex hookah bars sushi chopsticks text bubbles emoticons :) trader joe's baggy jeans the name of her state the name of her city/metro area which is huge and mentioned at least daily and for some reason I imagine her as being the only human being who lives there trying to have sex with my estranged(?) husband trying to decide whether get a divorce from my estranged husband/best friend trying to fantasize about ANYTHING besides her a-holes driving and texting Prius(es?) Blue cars celtic hearts crocheted hats hot weather cold weather throwing away stuff she gave me wanting to wear something something she gave me that I threw away wearing jewelry or clothes that she liked on me wearing jewelry or clothes that I THINK she would like on me wanting to wear jewelry or clothes of mine that I know she has finding one of her socks in my laundry masquerades and related... . cherry blossoms (happy Spring!) anyone mentioning Ireland Books she recommended to me, books I recommended to her going to supervision/campus going to the campus health center thrift stores ridiculous fashion glasses whac-a-mole go-carts taking my kids anywhere we took them (library, park etc) sitting in parking lots for long periods of time pretty much all of my underwear Soo, it should be really easy to avoid all that stuff and get over her, right? :) Two fold question: one, what are some of the ridiculous or unavoidable things that remind you or your ex? At this point I think the healthiest thing to do is to have a sense of humor about it--at least for me. and two, PLEASE tell me it gets better and that some point I will be able to drive somewhere or eat something or watch TV without thinking about and MISSING her! Title: Re: Triggers triggers everywhere I guess I need to move and become a hermit. Post by: myself on March 27, 2014, 06:17:40 PM Lists of things that trigger memories of exes trigger me :)
Also, seeing couples that are happy. And couples that look like they aren't happy. Even finding that YES some days I do feel better can get me thinking about my ex. I realized this as I was eating something watching TV while driving. :) Title: Re: Triggers triggers everywhere I guess I need to move and become a hermit. Post by: chillamom on March 27, 2014, 07:18:02 PM oh, my, pink parchment! I loved your list and nodded with recognition to many of your triggers…I hope you're not offended if I tell you I laughed a little! There is no freaking escape for me either. His name was Rich, and I can't even go to the damn supermarket with seeing "rich frosting", "rich and creamy" "rich and satisfying"….you get my drift! I found myself getting teary eyed in the frozen aisle buying cool whip today. I am a sad case!
Title: Re: Triggers triggers everywhere I guess I need to move and become a hermit. Post by: HealingForMe on March 27, 2014, 08:00:51 PM pinkparchment, wow, that really is a very full list. It must be very difficult, like you cant escape her
chillamom, I had an exgf called Mel & I worked for a courier company in Melbourne, so prob 1/3 of everything was labeled Mel. It drove me nuts Title: Re: Triggers triggers everywhere I guess I need to move and become a hermit. Post by: oldweasel on March 28, 2014, 02:32:58 PM Every time I'm getting into the shower and look in the mirrior... . HUGE heart/dagger tattoo on my chest with her name forever on it |iiii
Title: Re: Triggers triggers everywhere I guess I need to move and become a hermit. Post by: pinkparchment on March 28, 2014, 02:53:23 PM Chilla, laugh away! I was laughing at myself! I giggled at your story, and healing's as well--the last time I had my heart broken, sophmore year of college, the guy's name was Will. Wills and trusts, WILL you pass me the salt, I WILL be there at ten. Absurd! At least when Apple Martin breaks someone's heart they will only be triggered by someone eating the occasional apple.
Old weasel, maybe now you can look at it as a reminder that she stabbed you in the heart? Go back to the parlor and put a big "NO" sign around it. I have lots of tats but fortunately never a lover's name :) Myself, I'm sorry to have triggered you, but to be fair the title of my post could probably have been interpreted as a warning. :) Title: Re: Triggers triggers everywhere I guess I need to move and become a hermit. Post by: myself on March 28, 2014, 04:15:16 PM It's good of us to face these things, reclaim them, erode the hold they have on us.
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