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6 week nc since my ex devalued me the morning of her birthday. I initiated no contact.was at work and randomly heard her voice, turnt around and there she was on the phone walked straight past me.

It gave me an adrenaline rush but I don't feel good or bad. I remember looking at her thinking she was not as nice as I thought.she looked really plain. I'm glad she never looked to hot   It was so strange.

I believe she was of to her sisters after work.

I think she must of saw me uno one of them awkward moments you both try act like you ain't seen each other.

I'm just glad a resisted the urge to try speak with her. Another hurdle ( 1st time iv seen her since) out the way

I'm still struggling with feelings but I'm getting there!

In 6mths Ive bumped into my BPDexgf twice... .   haven't said a word either time.

Same thoughts as you;  I didn't 'feel' much... .  

and she wasn't as pretty as in my dreams (nightmares)... .  

Eventually the awkward moment of running into them happens but it is what it is. I run into my ex all the time and we simply don't speak to each other. He's somebody that "I used to know" and somebody I believed I "thought I knew." I'm sure a lot of our ex's have these awkward "run-ins" as it's a part of that "BPD life". My ex had a clown car of ex's and all his relationships end the same. Him blaming the ex's and the ex sharking for new supply.

The more you'll learn about BPD the more it'll get better because you'll realize that you fell in love with a person who's really sick in the head and heart. Now when I see my ex all I can think of is how glad I am to have gotten away. He would have ruined my entire life.

Spell

Paul M,

At six weeks, I think I'd have experienced more than an adrenaline rush, so good for you.  This is a gauge of your detaching – sounds like you are making strides.  You showed a lot of strength by not engaging.

Keep us posted.  :)