BPDFamily.com

BPDmom has first visit in 5 months with our 4 kids this week.   It is supervised for 7 days over spring break.

Only half a day in and its not going well.   I will be surprised if she lasts.   Her biggest problem is not having a vehicle.   She wants to run all over town with them.   She wants me to trade my van for the supervisor's car.   I need wheels to get to work this week.

She also made more threatening comments to me.   She keeps telling me I am going to die.   God is going to kill me for my actions etc.   I don't want to be anywhere near her because of this.   I am on the fence about going to the police.   It sure seems like criminal behavior to me.   Last time the sheriff ignored me though even with a recording of her saying a gang was putting a hit on me.

I just wish she could have a nice visit with her kids, but I guess its not possible for BPD.   She is refusing to help the kids with their homework that is due next monday too .

Ugh.

Four kids is a lot of work if you're not used to it.

Kinda is predictable that she'd be stressed out. I wouldn't let her get to you too much - and if you can't/don't want to lend her your van, then so be it.

Do you think her threats are viable? Is it worth it to you to pursue it legally or criminally?

Document her behavior and threats.  If nothing else you could maybe use it as grounds in a future family court action to have the visitation orders changed/revised to include provisions to protect you and the kids from this nuttiness.  Maybe new orders that make her responsible for her own place to stay, paying for a professional to oversee the supervision, providing her own transportation, lets the kids see her but stay at their home with her having to stay at a different location, etc.

And it sounds like more than BPD to me.  That's some pretty strong paranoia/delusional thinking/disconnected from reality type stuff. 

Anyway, I hope things get better, but get a recorder and document her threats. 

Is the visitation supervisor around when she's making these threats?

The threats scare me.   She told me as a teen she wanted to kill people who made her mad and the entire small town was essentially scared of her.    For now I am just avoiding seeing her and locking my doors.

I saw very little physical violence from her during our marriage.   Just during the end she punched me twice.

I have not given into any her needs on this visit.   The worst thing is she sent the latest threats using my daughters email account.   She and her mom think I am spying on them.   So she won't log into any of her accounts from the kids computer or even connect to the wifi.

She certainly has a lot of mental health issues.   Realistically she needs hospitalized.   I encouraged her to be committed for the last 3-4 years and got no where.    It is to bad the system makes it so hard to get people like this help.