BPDFamily.com

SS18 was adopted by my DH when he was one.  His uBPD BM has been in jail since last fall.  DH and I decided to allow SS to live with his bio dad and other stepmom.  That arrangement went downhill, resulting in SS moving in with his paternal uncle and aunt two weeks ago.  Turns out bio dad is probably uNPD.

SS is over the moon happy.  His aunt and uncle are wonderful, caring, supportive people, and he's suddenly able to be a teenager and enjoy his last few months of high school.  BM practiced severe parental alienation and SS had to live with her for years with my SS13 and their younger sister by another man.  BM isolated them from friends and family.

We are in the final run for permanent custody of SS13, and we asked SS18 to testify for us.  We let him know that it would be okay if he said no, that we wouldn't love him any less, and that we are just happy that he is happy.  He replied "I will do it.  I will not let SS13 go back there. It's not good for him".  He is braver than I'll ever be.

Sounds like he's determined, that's good!  Continue to give him support, remind him of it often.  Between now and the court date, someone may manage to weaken his determination to stand tall and speak out.  So many children raised with a pwBPD are trained to not have an internal insight of what is right and wrong, to be weak in determination like a leaf in the wind, blown about by wherever pressure is strongest.  My ex's sister was like that 20 years ago, always changing her opinions depending on who had last spoken with her.  Maybe she's stronger now, I don't know, I have no way to contact her and she doesn't call me, I haven't seen her since before the final decree.

Yes, FD, he is on a high right now, finally enjoying life and pursuing goals.  In the past two weeks he's finished and passed his senior project (at a new high school - his third for the year), bought himself new clothes and a suit for church that he desperately needed with support money from us, got a job, and will be taking his behind the wheel test today to get his license.  You can see it in his eyes and in his smile - he's finally happy.  He told his uncle "I finally got my happy ending".

We're working with his aunt and uncle to get him into counseling, and have told him it's okay not to talk to either of his biological parents right now.  BM yells at him for what he told the GAL (which wasn't anything bad) and BD blocked him and told him he'd talk to him when he "grew up and acted like a man".  Which he has, far more than his father.  We know and expect issues to crop up, but he has a local support system in his aunt, uncle, and cousins, and of course DH and I - two states away, but available at all times by phone, text, and FB.  We're just so happy for him, everything else is gravy.