BPDFamily.com

My aunt is married to a man who seems to have a personality disorder. I'm trying to help her find support from a community of similarly minded people. These forums are amazing, and helped me a great deal when I was dating a girl with BPD, though the conversations seem primarily focused on coping with BPD females. Are there any good places to discuss the even rarer situation of BPD males?

One notable detail, my aunt and her husband are Christian. They've turned to their pastor to help, but he seems unaware of the challenges of the situation. Good books that have a Christian perspective would be helpful. I found some Christian BPD forums, but they seemed to have a lot of people with BPD posting themselves about how they were "cured by God's grace" - seems like a tricky place to be.

Thanks so much, you guys are lifesavers.

Thanks so much

There are plenty of us on here dealing with the emotional fallout of having been involved with a male BPD partner... .   My ex is one of them.  The characteristics are the same mostly... . I can read my story in so many others who are referring to female partners.  Just from the opposite side of the coin. 

My exBPDbf is no waif though.  He's got anger and rage and paranoia to the Nth degree.  He can shut of his emotions like turning off a faucet.  I do believe he probably has multiple PD going on or at least characteristics from NPD and ASPD along with BPD... .  

I am also dealing with the fallout of having gotten involved with a male partner with BPD.

I, too, am dealing with the aftermath of a r/s with a BPD man.

A lot of the same characteristics apply, no matter the gender. BPD is, at its core, about emotional regulation and a shattered sense of self. People express that in different ways. I'll say that, from my own personal research and observation, it seems like men with BPD may tend more towards the Witch/Sadistic type, with a lot of anger and rage issues.

Stop Walking on Eggshells, while not a Christian book, is a great starting point for someone who wants to learn more about BPD, and it's gender neutral.

I think the reason there are more women BPD is that many of the men with the problem are in prison.  I am serious.

I am a Christian also.  Nevertheless I have found little help with pastoral counseling.  They just don't know about the problems.  I believe that God can heal anything but many times he uses the help of others to perform that healing.  I prayed the knees out of my pants for decades.  I went to pastors, doctors, lawyers and some counselors.  I do not blame God but the folks that I asked for help were of little use.  I eventually met someone who recommended alanon.  That program helped me the most.  It is not a "Christian" program but most of the people in the room are Christian.  I also found a good Christian counselor who told me about BPD.  She hit the nail on the head when she described my wife.

Good luck.