BPDFamily.com

   I posted my story here a few days ago and I keep going back in my head to our 20 years together the last 8 being married, the months of the silent treatment her texting me its her fault and she needs therapy to work on her, to you don't love me, you don't put me on a pedestal, to you always treated me bad and were mean to me thats when she left but when she left she told me this isn't a divorce only a seperation and that we would still be with each other still have sex still hang out she would just be in her own place, I went to the same therapist she went to and he told me he asked her who she was and that she went blank and had no clue how to react to that, she soon quit going, my question has to do with I remember we were living together for over 1 1/2 before we got married and she bolted then also for a little over a year she then returned and soon after we married, so what I am getting at is do you think she knew she was starting to get in whatever state they get in before they leave and thats why she always would say this isn't a divorce she would also for the few months at her condo say don't you think I'm doing better, after 4-5 months and I would say its time we talk divorce she would always say she wasn't ready not yet, even when things got real horrible (the past month was the death of our marriage) I had said to her one day that so and so had no idea we were divorced and she got real mad and said thats because we are not divorced and I'm thinking you avoid speaking to me for days, weeks won't acknowledge text messages and just flat out ignore me yet you won't say divorce? is it possible she knew she was having the episode and that she knew over time it may have passed and all she was doing was trying to buy time (last time it took little over a year) hoping that it would not ruin our marriage and our family, the one thing she would say for the longest time was things aren't as bad as you think we will always be a family, when she left she told me there was nobody else and she was not looking for anyone she was just being strong, she kept saying the therapy made her strong and gave her the courage to leave me because our relationship was so toxic, yet none of that toxic was her fault she told me to get therapy to fix me, anyway thats what I was wondering maybe she really knew maybe every so many years she gets that trigger and has to run, as for nobody else I will never know for someone that hated herself and her body she sure showed it off flirted a lot and was texting other guys

How are things going?

Are you still trying to have a divorce conversation? 

Yes I finally set up a mediation date, we went and of course she played the poor me card, we pretty much agreed on everything except for the child custody she says I can see the child anytime and is all for 50/50 time but when it comes to having my child she keeps her from me, mediator like everyone else cannot understand why the child will not stay with me or in the house she grew up in for 6 years mediator suggested child therapy wife agreed then after we left backed right off that, I now have had my daughter 3 nights (out of 7 months) BPDex keeps saying baby steps she is delaying the mediation and the set days for custody, the first night i had my daughter I got fifty thats right fifty nasty text messages from my soon to be ex, she is just getting crazier, and to make matters worse I now am 99.9% sure I know why she left, my friend of thirty years who lives around the corner with his wife and kid that we would always hang out with, go out shore vacations with, well she is hooking up with him, she is infatuated with him and god know I think they have been hooking up for at least the last 2 years, I know its pointless but I want to bust them in the worst way she makes it pretty darn obvious and I almost feel like she is rubbing it in my face, my first priority is my child but man do I wish they would get caught together his wife will toss his ass right out