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Split black a month ago. Still in contact with her she even wanted to get back together. I said I wanted proof of what was going on for a month because she was gone from home always. Well today I found it. Went to the grocery store and bam there she is with her new boy toy. I want to throw up so hard right now. This is the worst I have ever felt in my life and I have no idea how to get past this.

Well, you took the first step in healing by coming here to post. You are not alone. I'm so sorry you had to face that today. 

For me, this has been the most excruciating experience of my life -- and, the very first time I breathed again was when I found this community.   Nothing can take away your pain right now, but we can work through this together.

What is your plan to set boundaries to protect yourself now that you saw what you saw? 

Well I work with her dad and she lives with my friends. Everyday the past month has been literally like living in hell. I would never consider talking to her ever again at this point. I suspected this but I kinda wished she just went away and that was it. To see it in reality is just crushing. The friends that she lives with are actually friends she met through me. Pretty much everyone she knows is my friend. She was a hermit and had no friends. I just hope at this point she just moves in with the guy and stays out of my life. Two weeks ago she showed up at my house at 3am all bloody and said she punched a mirror. It was an attempt to recycle but I stayed strong. I was just over there a week ago. She has been seeing this guy for quite some time now as far as I can see. I just hope he doesn't see her crazy and invites her to live with him but he seemed like a total scumbag.

I'm sorry, Confused.  This is difficult, especially with the family/friends.   I hope you are able to draw boundaries without being dragged into drama triangles.   I found it difficult when I was pegged as a persecutor, but I learned the hard way that we can protect ourselves by not engaging (not as punishment to the other, but as protection for ourselves.

Do you have an outlet in therapist?

No I haven't looked into therapy yet. I've basically been looking back at all the lies and ways I was manipulated an never saw it. I feel like it's been a short amount of time since it's happened and I don't want to just right into therapy. I'm pretty busy working long hours. I have been trying to get myself motivated and feeling good but this was a crushing blow. I'm sure eventually it will be a sigh of relief considering this is her m.o. And hopefully later I will be able to laugh about it.

Hey Confused,

Sorry your going through all this. Hang in there man. Just take life one day at a time, it will get better. Be glad you didn't marry her. I married my uBPDstbxW.


I read some of your old posts and reading this sentence reminded me of my ex. Mine said "I deserve better" often. I considered those such lame cr*p words every time she uttered them. She should of put some effort in to the relationship instead of saying that.

Truth is we do deserve better.



AO