BPDFamily.com

I knew this would be happening.  I was getting mentally prepared for it.   In fact, I felt a strange rift come over my body last week out of nowhere... . like some force was telling me something.  I just got confirmation from a friend who still sees her and works with the both of them.

So just a little over a year after our divorce was finalized, my undiagnosed ex BPD wife is now engaged to her co-worker who moved in on her while we were separated. 

I feel and know two things. 

1.  Our relationship was a complete mirage and phony.  I do feel cheated in someways.  I gave my very best and she gave me nothing in return.  It tells me her love is shallow.

2.  I feel relief.  Knowing that she is indeed that mentally disordered, that she did nothing to fix herself.  She is the same person that I married and she did not change.  If she would have gotten engaged two or three years down the road, I would probably felt worse, because then it MIGHT have meant she had fixed herself. 

I feel bad for my replacement.  He makes more money than me and she is going to trap him for life if they have a kid.   I know I dodged a bullet and I feel he won't be so lucky. 

I am grateful for our my new relationship, with a happy, healthy, mentally stable woman.  I realize what I have now is really good.  She treats me with respect that I never had with my ex-BPD wife.  Still, the wounds appear, and I still think this a part of the grieving process.