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I'm having trouble staying no contact... I don't call just text... I've made it 10 days and broke down on Easter .It's never good when I do this... NEVER.Not having Self control is really getting to me it seems so easy... then BAM!

How long have you been NC?

Any tips that help you stick with it?

Has your ex ever broke NC and how far along was it?

Any information would be greatly appreciated... . thank you  :)

Banshee - The times when you just can't take it and have to reach out are a normal part of the detachment. I had to accept that sometimes I had a weak moment and would initiate contact and sometimes it would also come from her at the worst times. It's just a setback. NC is a hard thing to do when trying to detach.  Ask yourself what are your reasons for wanting to do it? Is it for your own self-preservation? Your own sanity? When you focus on why you no longer need this person in your life it helps to put that phone down or delete that message, take it one day at a time. Setting small goals for yourself may help. "I will stay in NC for 3 days, 5 days, 30 days" etc. Holidays tend to bring out the sentimentalist in all of us especially if the relationship lasted a year or more. Two years later my EXGF will STILL send a text out of the blue... . delete, ignore, and keep your waters calm. This is a process and not an overnight project. 

12barblues,

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond! I feel if I say why I want contact I'll be ripped apart... lol

I seem to obsess over getting this contact and having that one exceptional one liner that will floor him and have him realize how bad he messed up and he's finally lost me. I know this is selfish... after the one liner I would go strictly no contact (this is what my mind says) from that point on.If it was months before he text me I would have to answer only because I've threatened to change my number and or block him (for me bc he's not doing the contact)... I want him to know I wasn't that weak.

I'm probably going about this all wrong... it has been 10 months total for us and I feel it's the only way I'll get some dignity back. I'm on day 3 now and it seems forever away just to get back up to the 10 I once had.

Being here has helped but I have to admit I get jealous of contact that seems most get... I have to do this ... I can do this... thank you

I have had many emotional urges to reach out to the ex, almost cravings if you will.  Luckily these urges seems to pass within a short period of time.  I would attempt to resist the urge and let the feeling pass... . it will.

I've also learned this communication never leaves me any better off than I was previously... .

Hi Banshee

I am new to this site but what I can say is. Don't beat yourself up or be hard on yourself I went nearly 3 months NC and then suddenly bam I text her. To be told not interested you hurt me and you are selfish, horrible, the worst language you can imagine etc etc.

I am still blaming myself for it all although my head is coming round to the truth.

I have realised that me breaking NC was meant to be. It helped me find this wonderful site, it pushed me to really think about it all rather than block it out. It's not easy i know. But take the positive out of it and know that each day is a new goal reached.

Remember you have been involved with someone with a serious mental illness that is going to leave wounds that take time to heal. Some longer than others. Be strong and don't be hard on yourself. Set mini goals as has been said. I go running and am in training for a 10k I look at it the same way. Mini goals big rewards.

Much love

No ripping on this site and what you feel is what I experienced as well. If I had one really smarta$$ thing to say to her and then drop off the planet, I would have too. But then I realized that it was only keeping me attached to even entertain the notion. It's hard when you look at your phone 200 times a day in case you missed a text or a call. I think we have all been there at times during NC. Blocking in all social media or changing numbers may help, but the cravings won't go away that quickly. Keep focused on how you want to live your new life and be thankful that you have a new awareness of his tricks.  |iiii

Thank you ... I seem so far behind ya'll (I'm from the south lol).

It's been 2 months... I haven't left the house- put on any make up or fixed my hair. I shower and back in pajamas... I'm sick with myself

I'm determined I wll not let the month of  May be like this .Thank you Sam and Lamiel you have no idea how much your words mean to me 

Allow me to tell a quick story.  A couple weeks ago, after a couple of weeks of NC, I decided to reach out to my ex.  I felt like I was regaining strength and I just wanted to "know how she was doing."  I also figured that I was sufficiently detached that, although in the past when I'd reached out she had hurt me, there was really nothing she could say in this case that could mess me up emotionally.

Me: "How are you doing?"

Her: "I'm okay.  I was just thinking of you."

LITERALLY the one thing that could have messed me up.  Of course that interaction died, I ruminated for days, then ultimately we talked on the phone and she made me feel like ___.  My point is that it is much more likely that your ex will have the one thing ready to mess you up than that you will say the magic thing that will make him realize anything.  

I will say, though, like other people, that in a way I benefited from (or at least learned from) breaking NC.  It was so comical to me that she could find something so perfect to confuse and upset me, I just sort of realized this is the way it would always go.  After I went NC again, she texted me once requesting something from me that I did not respond to.  This reminded me how she only reaches out when she needs me to fulfill her needs. With these two realizations, I have found it much easier (although not easy) to move forward.

Finally, I want to echo the sentiment not to beat yourself up.  These relationships are analogous to addictions, and like with addictions, relapse, although to be avoided, is nonetheless inevitable early on.  We just have to learn from our relapses if and when they occur.  

I've been NC 2 times.

First time she initiated and was dedicated to keeping it, as I didn't expect she would reverse her decision. 1 1/2 months later, she wrote me a text.

Contact resumed for another 2-3 months (friendly conversation only). Then I initiated NC and told her to never to write me again. 4 months so far, and I don't expect to hear from her again this time.

Do you ask because you secretly hope for contact? It's not shame, I do as well... .

I recognize all too well not doing anything. But don't beat yourself up. At some point you will be sick of not doing anything, and you will pull your self out. Let time work for you... .

It's so true and incredible when you realise how common the themes and the journeys are.

You are very welcome Banshee. Like I say I am very new to this site and its still very early days for me but I am training my mind to be positive and focus on everything good in my life. Which when you think about it is loads and I have realised that I neglected a lot of these things whilst in the r/s.

I use the time I want to break NC or feel sad or down about it all to reach out to those good things in my life.

Yes it would be great to be able to floor your ex with a one liner wouldn't it. But you know what they say the best revenge is living well.

Keep strong your doing better than you think.

You all are the best ... . really... YES I want him to contact me... he hasn't initiated any contact in over a month.

He will answer most of texts with short flat answers...

He's constantly saying...

"can't you be nice?"

"your being mean to me"

When I texted and poured my heart out and was nice... said I'll give you space and time ... I love you and you know this.

He responded... . going to bed I'm tired worked all day.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? (said to myself)


I asked him why he didn't respond to "nice" and that was hurtful.

He said FOR WHAT ? because I'm tired?

THIS IS WHERE I LOSE IT! I don't understand the BPD language of Bull$... t. I said some choice words (this is when I feel unstable when I react ... (I'll actually be shaking as I'm texting}

He comes back and says ...

you should be ashamed of yourself calling me names

I don't know what to say to some things you say. (he's talking about the NICE text)

I said he was being an a$$... but to him its calling him names... grrrr anyway that was the last contact.

His birthday is Sunday and looking forward to it passing right on by... I know he expects a text... he won't get one from me.

I swear sometimes It makes you want to sit in the corner and blow spit bubbles you feel that out of it at times 

Will45 I can't seem to pull up anyone's past posts ... it says

An Error Has Occurred!

Many apologies, but you can't view just any profile.

Banshee I think you may need to hit 10 posts before you get that capability!

Hey Banshee, I'm from the south

I can so relate to what you are going through.  I guess as far as the site goes I'm an "oldster", meaning I have been recycled and broken NC on several occasions, thing is? I was getting the silent treatment and it was me breaking my own rules and the pwBPD didn't know it 

This time though, I'm keeping my promise to myself because nothing good will come of breaking NC and I'll feel badly about myself, and the pwBPDxgf will silently gloat and think she is back in control.  Well? The hellion in me just can't let that happen this time!

After the first milestone (I set 5 days first goal, then 5 more and so forth) I really started getting the wind back in my sails, I even held my own on Easter, and for me that was huge! I got a mani/pedi today as a reward, lol.  Sounds silly but it's working for me, the focus is on me.  I hope you will forgive yourself, be compassionate to yourself, this is hard hard stuff, and it sucks! 

Just come here, let us pull you through the urges

(())

CiF

You know you've been in a dark sad place alone when you cry :'( after each and every response.

I would sit in the bed and read on my phone before I was a member to the point of headaches... Finally pulled the lapt top out and dusted it off and joined...

Funny thing is I haven't looked at my phone the first time since I joined... I do growl and snarl when I get the bank text ... I so hate that ! ((vibrate)) I peek down ... hmmm could it be? NOPE bank text... yes I know I'm broke stop texting me!  :)

Thanks ya'll

I have absolutely read through tears, typed through tears too.  Once you block their number on your phone? You kinda have this sigh of relief because you know any pings will not be them, it really really lowers the anxiety level.  But? You do that when you are ready, in your own time, we are all different!  Detaching and moving on takes as long as it takes, not one size fits all!

CiF

Cardinals in Flight--YES I have blocked once but panicked and unblocked him!

I'm not ready to block yet... I wished I was ... I think I will be able to when I finally get the upperhand (whatever that it)... which doesn't look like anytime soon.

GAH! I do all kinds of strange things trying to make him icky! from his skinny frame to the way he holds his fork while cutting steak... lol.

I did that too! Got worried something bad would happen and she would need me, gaaaaa

 I can definitely relate to the blocking the number. It's a strange thing isn't it as you know it's for the best but somehow their seems to be too many reasons not to.

For me I want the text so I can say to myself ha I don't have to reply. But then I think well what does it matter if I see she has text or not as if I don't reply it is the same outcome. If that makes sense.

You will get there in the end like I say deep wounds and emotional pain take a long time. I read on here that a good way is to stop saying her/him and start thinking in the I. So for example I want this, I don't want to be subjected to this or that etc etc. it takes the focus away from the ex and life starts becoming about you. I am reminding myself of that everyday.

Banshee,

What is it about NC that you really, really want - I mean the deep down motivation for doing it?

SB

That makes so much sense YES! I'm afraid he will think I changed my number or blocked him so I've got one word responses waiting so he will know differently... like

How are you?... . huh?

you okay?... who?

My favorite would be if it becomes a month and he text hey... I would say who is this?

haha... then go silent no matter what he says... honestly I'll be glad to move past the spiteful stage and just see it for what it is... a mess... a big ole stanking mess!

I feel he holds my dignity I carelessly gave to him... I want it back through the same pathetic  actions I gave it to him... how sad am I?  :'(

Help me understand this a bit more - are you equating NC to keeping your dignity?

Yes definitely I have the same thoughts of responding with "sorry who is this". It's an overwhelming desire to prove I have forgotten her and moved on without a second thought. Like you say dignity - as you feel they have stripped you of that. I totally get it.

I am pretty sure I will overcome this though and I feel it's only fair to myself to do that in my own time. There are so many issues left that we can't deal with them all at once so I deal with the ones I can as and when I can.

I guarantee at some point you will be saying I don't have that need or desire anymore and I know I can't wait to get to that stage. But one step at a time and small pigeon steps. Rome wasn't built in a day but by gosh wasn't it fantastic when it was built.

I'm not sure ... I feel revengeful, like I can't let it go like this... I feel ashamed I was the only one to put effort in the relationship ,then the only one to try to save it... I feel like him coming to me would show I actually existed. I can't seem to explain any other way.I hope that makes sense?

You want to be acknowledged, seen and or heard!  I totally get that!  But sadly, it is unlikely as you will see here.  We had no real adult relationship closure, it feels icky and ugly the way it ended, is that it?

Makes total sense.

The thing is as we know a lot of the illness to our ex's is about self preservation and not accepting responsibility and blanking out the past. I realise that my ex doesn't give me a second thought. Difficult to come to terms with that.

What I think I need to work on is validating myself and not my ex. It's hard because to us it was an important r/s to which we put in a lot of love, care and dreams. It doesn't mean they weren't valid but not to our ex's I'm afraid.

Those are good things to know about yourself though.

I hope I'm not rambling lol I live in England and its getting late now

It feels like I was dumped out on a long dark road in the middle of nowhere... No matter how much I beg ,plead ,get angry threaten he won't help me back to a safe place ... he won't even admit to dropping me off there in the first place.

I'm doing all I can to get there on my own but its hard and confusing as if I was blindfolded before the long drive.

Sometimes I don't think my words make sense... they kinda come out jumbled...

That seems to be a much better place to start a new than Alabama! lol... it's 7 pm here... Ive been posting most of the day... but haven't really been concerned with that phone... so that's good... Hope you have a nice night Sam take care 

Lol it rains a lot!

I totally relate to the being dumped like that. Like an old toy that she is now bored of.

But I know why that is I don't validate her anymore or give her the supply she needs. I have begged and pleaded too don't feel bad about that its a natural reaction.

Just remember you are a decent person and you wanted it to work. You loved your ex and cared about him.

Remember those qualities you have and use them to positively influence you, sadly your ex does not deserve those from you. If my ex had got help like I kept asking then different story but whilst they deny that for themselves things will never be any different.

My bed is calling me now. Keep strong take care of yourself. I will be back tomorrow this site is so helpful.

It's ok to feel that way - very descriptive of how most of us felt when we first came here... . myself included.

But, let's stay on topic 

What does this have to do with NC - unless you know why you want to go NC, there is no amount of "tips" that can help you - you will have to help you.  And the thing is, you are more strong than you know - it just doesn't feel that way right now.

So, back to the question I asked - why do you want to go NC?

Banshee, from what you've said it sounds like part of you wants NC because you think it will help you detach, but another big part of you wants NC so that you can provoke your ex into texting and the show him how little you care. So, for that part, it sounds like it's no so much a desire for "no contact" as it is for "contact," just a specific kind of contact on your terms.

Which is completely fine and completely normal. But I think many of us can tell you that, when we've disguised a desire for contact as one for no contact, we've ended up relapsing. You should be prepared for this and not feel like you've "failed" if you relapse. These relationships are addictive disorders, and people with addictive disorders relapse. We try as hard as we can not to, and we learn from our experiences when we do.

No contact is paradoxical. On the one hand, it can be a great help in detaching. On the other hand, you never truly achieve it until you're fully detached.

This is it.


I keep thinking if  I reach a certain amount of days or weeks of no contact I won't need for him to contact and me to prove anything... this is what I hope the most.I just want my feelings and thoughts to  all go away with no contact.

I'm so sorry If I'm not answering correctly ... lol I'm trying to understand why myself I reckon.

It's OKAY to feel like that. Don't let your confusion confuse you. Don't try to understand. Instead accept that this is how you feel NOW.

ok - let's try this with your voice this time.

NC is a tool - nothing more and nothing less.  It can help us get our balance so we can make choices in our best interest.  It is not something that can be manipulated.

So, detaching is your goal... . sometimes we have to accept pain as the process to get there - if there were some magic pill, I would have made a fortune here by now.

So, NC for you will give you what?  Control over your own emotions maybe?

It sounds like you might be looking for closure. Does that sound like it might be true?

I know that it's incredibly difficult to start detaching and therefore get into a good "NC mindset" when you feel that you don't have any closure. What do you think might help you reach your own closure, without needing any input or explanation from him?

There's nothing wrong with wanting him to contact you so you can ignore/hurt him. He's hurt you deeply, with seemingly no reason. Let yourself feel that... . fantasize about all the things you could say to him, do to him, to hurt him back. You will get more closure from doing that, and processing your own feelings, than from anything he could say. I promise. 

Yes... I feel him breaking no contact would give me a second chance to remove some of the foolish things I did and said.I'm very disgusted and embarrassed in how I acted... I can't stand the fact that it's ended with me looking so pathetic and that will be his last known memory of me.

I'm using no contact in the wrong way... right? I see this now... took long enough... oh my word.

No you are not using it the wrong way. What you feel is natural and will fade.

The reasons for you choosing NC, are not important. At least not at this stage when everything is so fresh. The main thing is that you maintain it, you are removing the potential to get further hurt. If you burn you hand, you remove it from the source of the heat. Right now it isn't important who started the fire, if it can be put out etc. The only important thing is that you remove your hand.

Later on, when the burn has healed, you can decide if you want to stick your hand in the fire again, put it out, play with the ashes or whatever metaphor you would see fit.

You are in NC, you removed your hand - that it what matters for now.

GuiltHaunted  Thank you I will sleep so much better just because of those words... I won't give in I have this place to turn to now and will post here and not break the no contact.

The important thing is that you want to maintain NC. You are protecting yourself. That is the big reason for NC, and that is a completely "right" reason.  :) And that is what will be able to keep you in NC -- seeing it as a form of self-preservation. Taking care of YOU.

You will have time to process your reasons and emotions. Don't try to figure everything out all at once.  

Thank you HappyNihilist... I'm seeing things alot differently aready being on here ... all the support is amazing... I feel stronger already.If he ever does contact first this will be the first place I'll go 

There is truth to this in a raw state, absolutely.

Tips to NC are knowing your own motivations
This sentence right here - read it anytime you thing that contacting him is a good idea - it is this realization that will keep you from going down the path.

We have all been embarrassed by our behavior, be kind to you right now - but use that as fuel to give yourself the space you need to heal.

NC is only useful if you know why you are doing it - doing it because a bunch of people are telling you to do it will not help when that overwhelming ache happens... . I know that firsthand.  It is when we decide for us the WHY that we no longer need tips - it just is.

You have come a long way in this thread - if I were you, I would bookmark it to read as you move through this process.

You are stronger than you realize.

Peace,

SB

Thank you so much seeking balance...

I know contact only brings more pain... everytime without fail... I got confused with different things I was reading. One of them being out of sight out of mind... I would  worry he would forget me if I stopped all contact.

After so many failed  attempts i realized the hurt I was going through had to be more important  to me than anything he was thinking or feeling because he didn't care how I felt... I have no idea if he will initiate contact with me again but I do know that I'm not putting myself through that pain of rejection again.

Alone, confused and healing feels alot better than rejected, humiliated and new daily hurt .Ive got to remember that.  :)

These two statements are very important and absolutely, 100% true.

You have really come a long way and are doing very good work here.  |iiii And of course we're always here for you.

I am in my 7th day NC today... . i was feeling like you for the first few days, i removed her number from my speedial and turned all her alerts off... . no vibrate... . no LED's and nothing so i could sleep

We broke up 8 weeks ago but, been initiating text to her, typical examples:

me: "How are you today?"

her: usual

me: pls take care of yourself

2 hours later T 1 AM... . her: Please stop pretending you @##^@#@$@

and getting trahsed at the end

i'm on day 7 today too... didn't even send a happy birthday on day 5... pushing to day 10, it was  the longest  ive been so far and really trying to get past that mark... wow seems so easy for them while we struggle minute to minute... hang in there sirius we can do this! |iiii

Banshee, you know what... .

As i was tempted to text her earlier today and i waited... . i went to pack her things up and stumpled on some old telephone bills, guess what... . she was having short flings with many many people since 2002, on and off... . calls made from 2 or 3 am, these number will appear for 3 or 4 months and then dissappear. a new pattern with a new number will again appear for another 3 to 6 months and then gone.

Damnn... . as i was about to pick up the mobile to text her is she is doing ok... .

So dont regret it... . hang in there... . theres a reason but we just dont know it yet

I'm so glad I wouldn't know if he was seeing someone... don't think I could handle it but yet the thought is what made me break no contact a few times.

Now I focus on all the lifeless replies  I would get when I would text...

Me: Hope you had a nice Easter.

4 hours later

Him: been busy working all day

As you see he didn't even respond to what my actual text said.

He made it out to be like being friends was soo important...

I'm not interested in his definition of a friend. I'm nicer to people I don't know or even like .This is what makes it so hard.

You were once the best thing ever then bam your no more than an annoying itch that won't go away...

Yes we can make it ... I was the one that was hard headed ,had to keep on keeping on ... like running into a brick wall over and over... well I'm damaged enough from it ... time to walk away heal myself.

If you feel like contacting post here it really helps |iiii

I recorded one of her rants to my phone and I've kept the last volley of dreadfully insulting texts... . whenever I have that craving to reach out to her I have a go to these references which are evidence that she is no good for me. It's that simple but not necessarily easy.

Sad thing is it was me that gets so out of control and my texts are just horrid... i have showed every BPD trait possible by text ... he most likely has texts that he has kept from my rants... I have never been so out of control and ugly as I have with him in my whole life!

One thing I hold on to is ... I have never done those things before him  and never will again... but he could push every button I had with his silence and calm non caring replies... then point the finger at me and say I was this and that... so passive aggressive and worked every time!

Everyday that passes it  gets better but what I did was just unthinkable and unforgivable to me... . Yuk

I had almost 6 weeks of the worst text i ever wrote to her, the meanest i ever did to hurt her back... . venting my anger and never won at all. Regretted it everytime i did that. Each time they will say a little something to piss you off and all the anger you have inside will be spilled out... . as though we have become them. I saw this in myself and i thought to myself... . is this me?

For example, if it was 4weeks ago and i found the sh** that i found today... . it would have been another long day of texting and quarrelling. This time I did not because i have more control and I have some self respect not to react to it.

Mine did not read the text but read it later as the reply was overlapping

It gets better each day, the urge to pickup the phone and check for their text or to text them is fading each day.

Don't become like them, we are ourselves that is why we feel so bad and we have our self concious

I'm lousy at NC.  I get like an addict who is "jonesing" for a fix.  I get absolutely frantic.  He, on the other hand, is great at it.   :'(  And I felt exactly as you're describing, weak and pathetic.  Hated myself for doing it but couldn't seem to stop.  (Talking about BU #1 here.  Now in BU #2 and just texted him last night.)  Either reaching out or trying to take my power back.  It is a losing game.  I never got a response that made me feel any better about anything.  Usually I felt dramatically worse.  Please don't beat yourself up about it.  NC isn't a "rule".  As one of the advisors said it's a tool.  This is all really really hard stuff.

Just look at all ya'll wonderful people and what the ex has done to such caring and supportive mates... . from what I see here it's all the exes loss... I cherish and appreciate every word and send lots of   and   to you all

 :)  And to you Banshee.

Truth.

As much as I was afraid to find out about the truth that she was cheating on me, I discovered it by accident and faced it... . and now I can see the rotten inner self of her being such it made me doesnt want to see or hear from this person anymore. I was shocked... . beyond words.

I have been living in her lies for the past 12 years and was punished by it even after its over... .

This gives me even more determination to be NC and wished she will not contact me either

This place really helps a lot... . thank you guys and/or gals... .

Hey Banshee...

The thing about N.C. for me has been clarity. I decided to go no contact, I broke it once, and the results just set me back... . It was right back to hearing the threats of suicide, for me I knew there, I'm done.  Plus all the things she dienies to admit and take responsibilty for, I can't communicate with a child nor ever be in a relationship with one.  We work togeather, I see her 3-5 times a week... . I haven't said a word to her in almost 1 year now... . Not one word, if I can, I try not to even look at her... . It's a dead a end, I have many reasons why I am choosing this... . But the bottom line, as miuch as I care about her and wish her well... . She is not an honest person, and she is quick to stab a person in the back she doesn't get her way.  She completely had me painted black at work, making me out to be something I am not.  I ignored everything, every attempt, every lie, every accusation, false stroy etc... . It hurt, but I ignored and ignored and ignored and showed not one inch of concern for anything she said or did.  Now she is mirroring me again, ignoring me, avoiding eye-contact etc... . But it's not a game for me, I am really done.  I am doing it because I have to work here and she tried to damage my reputation and name and had the nerve to ask me if  want to "hangout", my last words to her were "NO", I wish you well but I am done and need to move on to a healthier life... . And that's what it is all about, finding a healthier relationship with yourself will lead to one with others... . You knwo what lies behind that dorr, theres no need to explore it, it will only confuse you, hurt you, and set you back... .

on my side... . her birthday is coming in 2 weeks time anf today is the 8th day of NC. Should I text her a birthday greet when the day comes? we have been celebrating the last 12 birthdays together. She will be away in Australia on that day. I don't know if that is a good idea and that will be breaking NC

[quoteon my side... . her birthday is coming in 2 weeks time anf today is the 8th day of NC. Should I text her a birthday greet when the day comes? we have been celebrating the last 12 birthdays together. She will be away in Australia on that day. I don't know if that is a good idea and that will be breaking NC][/quote]
I did not contact him on his birthday but it was for a different reason than it should have been. I wanted it to trigger him into thinking he had lost me for good and contact me... he  hasnt yet and it's been 3 days since his birthday.

12 years is a long time maybe someone in a longer relationship would have a better choice... but for me absolutely not... he didn't care about me or what was going on with my life why should I acknowledge his special day when I was obviously  not so special after all. :'(

Thanks Banshee... .

What you said was right --"wanted it to trigger him into thinking he had lost me for good and contact me" and that was what i was hoping and afraid too by not breaking NC.

And if i would to wish her, I am also afraid that she would trash me with it... . 2 weeks to ponder.

"12 years is a long time maybe someone in a longer relationship would have a better choice"

I think its the same... . when she pack her things to leave that night, it was like she was packing to go for her holiday.

"he didn't care about me or what was going on with my life why should I acknowledge his special day when I was obviously  not so special after all"

Maybe he did and giving you the silent treatment? Maybe he don't. I noticed them being over egoistic and would not initiate or know how to express what they feel humanely... . we could be completely wrong about this... . I would like to think now that they are as cold as what was said about them so I don't feel so down about it but at the very same moment it draws me back to think maybe they felt the same about us too... . the reasoning is hard and especially when the heart is not in sync with the head... .

Hope it gets better for us... . |iiii

When I unblocked mine... he blocked me a few days later!

Hurtbeyondrepair... .

When she found out about me adding her onto Whatsapp... . she blocked me. Untill one day I blocked her from seeing my status and that was when she initiated contact and as usual... . you know whats coming. Seems like she got agitated when she knew i blocked her.

Maybe it was revenge to get back at you for blocking him... .

Thank you it will ... it is day by day even if we can't feel it or see it right now

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