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Title: Mirroring- I think the guy I just stopped seeing did this too. Post by: TitaniumPhoebe on April 27, 2014, 05:31:12 PM ugh, I think the guy I just stopped seeing did this too. Like he was throwing fits because I have really strong feelings about a massage therapist who injured me and that he should not have a license. X-bf was throwing fits saying how I spew negativity and I need to throw my computer in the trash because the guy (massage therapist) looks happy with his new gf (that he's taking advantage of), etc. Anyway, seems after he found out my therapist said if he can't support me in things I feel passionate about, such as speaking up when something wrong happens (this massage therapist injured my neck) that my therapist said "Maybe he's not the right guy for you." Well, shortly after that therapy session the x-bf tells me he supports me in pursuing doing something about the sleezy massage therapist and starts sending me little quotes about doing the right thing, etc. That's just one example of many, but I've noticed it more and more. It's like he changes his opinion or belief to match mine, which is so bizarre to me. It's one thing to be willing to change your mind but to be so anti-something and then change your mind for no reason makes no sense to me. But then a lot of what he did and my ex-h did made no sense to me.
Title: Mirroring- I think the guy I just stopped seeing did this too. Post by: mywifecrazy on April 27, 2014, 05:51:52 PM Mirroring back the behaviour they think is expected to gain aproval. It took me a long time to see that my stpdtr did not have my morals and code but was only mimicing me. She says and does what she thinks is wanted because she dosn't know what to do herself. She says, "when I see you, how do you want me to act?" or "I am not sure how you want me to respond to that". I experienced mirroring before I found this site. After my uBPDxw ran out in my sons and I after 18 yrs of marriage she completely stopped going to any church. I asked her why she doesn't go any more and she said "I only went because I knew it was important to me"... . Really? For 18 years? I didn't realize it when she said it but she was admitting to mirroring even though I'm sure she's not aware she's a pwBPD. Title: Mirroring- I think the guy I just stopped seeing did this too. Post by: mywifecrazy on April 27, 2014, 05:56:05 PM I also found it weird that she had no real interests or hobbies. She immediately took great interest in all the hobbies and things I was into like fishing playing the guitar and other things. I remember asking her what are your hobbies and interests? She openly admitted she had no real interest and it was said in a very sad voice. I guess they mirror to also fill the emptiness they have inside? Does this make sense?
Title: Mirroring- I think the guy I just stopped seeing did this too. Post by: TitaniumPhoebe on April 28, 2014, 12:22:40 AM Mirroring back the behaviour they think is expected to gain aproval. It took me a long time to see that my stpdtr did not have my morals and code but was only mimicing me. She says and does what she thinks is wanted because she dosn't know what to do herself. She says, "when I see you, how do you want me to act?" or "I am not sure how you want me to respond to that". I experienced mirroring before I found this site. After my uBPDxw ran out in my sons and I after 18 yrs of marriage she completely stopped going to any church. I asked her why she doesn't go any more and she said "I only went because I knew it was important to me"... . Really? For 18 years? I didn't realize it when she said it but she was admitting to mirroring even though I'm sure she's not aware she's a pwBPD. my husband would come out with me and friends and then get all mad because he went and say he hated the French Quarter. I would ask him why he came then! He would say because he wanted to be with me. I swear it was insane. I can't count how many times he said he wanted to come out with me and then made a scene or acted like a dumb drunk ass, pouting. Looking back, I recall I took him to a party and he b___ed later saying he went to that "stupid party" with me like he did me a favor. I invited him and he accepted! I didn't beg him to go. I thought he wanted to go. It's like once he was with me he had no self. |