BPDFamily.com

Kids and I moved into our own apartment on Saturday. stbxBPDh told the kids he would come visit them yesterday. Surprise surprise, no show and no call. The kids, who are used to being shafted in favour of whatever his current obsession is, didnt even ask why he didnt show.

Stbx wants me to let him walk the kiddos home from school everyday and watch them till I get home (i work full time). But I simply cant have him not show on a whim because then the kids are unsupervised and not yet old enough to stay on their own. 

I know he needs to feel wanted but my children deserve consistency. Im going to be finding perm care for afterschool and let stbx stop  by and see the kids before 8pm, as they have homework and then bedtime at 9.

Im sure hes going to think im an evil b___ keeping him from his kids, and not look realistically at the situation. Ive been raged at for far less so Im as prepared as i can br for the unpredictable fallout.

As well stbx has still not secured his own place and needs to be out by Wed (hes known since march 28, same amount of time I had to secure a place) Im really trying to disengage and not let that worry me. I have a lot of work to do on myself and am looking forward to it.

Are you divorcing or separating?  I ask because a prior post ("He's been unable to work for 3yrs" could put you at risk of hearing the court tell you to continue supporting your spouse.  Likely he hasn't worked because he has been able to lean on you financially.  If there's one thing to do in family court, besides the children of course, it's to get the court to tell him he's an adult and so find work.

I appreciate your tip. I sought counsel lady yr when we separated. He receives a disability pay from his last job. With what Im making, if I keep kids at least 51%  pf the time, he wont owe me child support and I wont owe him spousal support, its basically a wash.  He knows this too. Hed can live off his cheque and i can support the kids on my own.