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Title: 140 days out and checking in = GRATITUDE Post by: Madison66 on April 30, 2014, 01:03:22 PM Well, I kinda stopped counting in the last few weeks but I've had some things happen to me that led me back to the board this morning to reflect some. I'm now 140 days out of my r/s with uBPD/NPD ex gf of 3+ years. The six months leading to the b/u in early December and the 140 days since has been a time of profound struggle, work, liberation, re-connection with myself and gratitude. I sometimes just shake my head when I think of the r/s with my ex gf. At the same time, I think of what my T asked me recently: "would you change who you are today? Would you change the road it took to get you here?" My response was "no, I wouldn't change who I am today and yes, I'd change the road I took to here". Her response was that then I'd most likely be a different person if I traveled a different road. So, this was a lesson that has been a key part to my final detachment. I can't change what happened or why it happened. I am in control of me and I feel an extreme sense of gratitude and peace at where I am today. I'm a work in progress and look forward to further growth and evolution.
The greatest gifts from all of this has been a new found sense of awareness, self love and self acceptance. And, peace! I found peace! It may not be a coincidence that I recently met someone who I think is really special. She's emotionally and physically healthy, and we seemed to be matched well together. She challenges me and I'm finding that I'm not holding back. After the 3+ years of abuse with my ex gf, I doubted that I could ever trust myself again. Well, that was because I really never did in the first place. Life has changed and I can trust myself now. It feels really good! I don't know how often I'll be checking in on this board in the future. I'm sure there will be days when I will. I appreciate the kind words of support that I've received along the way. Stay strong! "It's Time to Celebrate Me!" Ed Roland Title: Re: 140 days out and checking in = GRATITUDE Post by: LettingGo14 on April 30, 2014, 01:19:18 PM I sometimes just shake my head when I think of the r/s with my ex gf. At the same time, I think of what my T asked me recently: "would you change who you are today? Would you change the road it took to get you here?" My response was "no, I wouldn't change who I am today and yes, I'd change the road I took to here". Her response was that then I'd most likely be a different person if I traveled a different road. So, this was a lesson that has been a key part to my final detachment. I can't change what happened or why it happened. I am in control of me and I feel an extreme sense of gratitude and peace at where I am today. I'm a work in progress and look forward to further growth and evolution. Madison, thank you for sharing this. It's very powerful to arrive at acceptance -- indeed, a "radical acceptance" of sorts. I'm grateful to hear this, as this is my goal. The greatest gifts from all of this has been a new found sense of awareness, self love and self acceptance. And, peace! I found peace! It may not be a coincidence that I recently met someone who I think is really special. She's emotionally and physically healthy, and we seemed to be matched well together. She challenges me and I'm finding that I'm not holding back. After the 3+ years of abuse with my ex gf, I doubted that I could ever trust myself again. Well, that was because I really never did in the first place. Life has changed and I can trust myself now. It feels really good! "Self-awareness... . self-love... . and self-acceptance." And peace. That's a fantastic outcome. Detachment leads to freedom. Thank you for sharing. Title: Re: 140 days out and checking in = GRATITUDE Post by: Sunny Side on April 30, 2014, 10:20:08 PM I am in control of me and I feel an extreme sense of gratitude and peace at where I am today. I'm a work in progress and look forward to further growth and evolution. The greatest gifts from all of this has been a new found sense of awareness, self love and self acceptance. And, peace! I found peace! Madison, this is fantastic for you. I'm glad you're feeling thankful, peaceful, balanced and forward looking with the sun at your back. I'm looking forward to getting back to where you are very soon. Best, Sunny Side |iiii Title: Re: 140 days out and checking in = GRATITUDE Post by: Emelie Emelie on April 30, 2014, 10:28:34 PM Thank you for sharing. It gives us all hope that we can come out the other side unscathed.
Title: Re: 140 days out and checking in = GRATITUDE Post by: heartandwhole on May 01, 2014, 03:17:20 PM Madison,
It's always wonderful to read posts like yours. I'm happy for you. Keep taking care of yourself and living the questions. "Awareness, self-love, acceptance, and peace." I don't think it gets better than that *) |