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Title: My epiphany moment Post by: Forestaken on May 02, 2014, 11:37:58 AM Two years ago today, I had my "epiphany moment" (5/2/2012). My S2bxw+uBPD+dOCD had been away for her aunt's funeral since July 2011. She skipped D's 18 bday, Xmas, S's 22 bday, stating that she'll be back soon for D's HS graduation. No one looking forward to her return and physical abuse, walking on egg shells, etc.
I went to the pharmacy for S's medication and she called telling D18 to "Have your father call me!" then hung up. When I returned I called her family home's phone where she was staying, her older sister answered the phone and told me about a huge fight my s2bx had with the youngest sister (all adults 40+/50+). Older sister then said "S2bx hit younger sister". At that moment, I decided to end 24 years of marriage. Now I have face 2 years of expensive legal battle, been penniless but have both kids suporting me. Was these past 2 years worth it, definitely yes. She never wanted to change. Her mental health issue kept her in charge. If you are in a relationship with a BPD, please leave. It start off with isolation from friends, then family. With you support structure gone, the verbal abuse follows, then emotional, then physical abuse. It's a very slow and painful boil. Title: Re: My epiphany moment Post by: Lucky Jim on May 02, 2014, 11:55:17 AM Excerpt It starts off with isolation from friends, then family. With your support structure gone, the verbal abuse follows, then emotional, then physical abuse. It's a very slow and painful boil. Have to agree with you there, forestaken, as my marriage to a pwBPD followed a similar pattern. You lose an inch here and an inch there, and pretty soon you realize that you've lost a mile. The key question, I think, is why do we remain in a BPD r/s for so long when we know it's destructive to our selves? Well, that's up to each of us to figure out. Hang in there, LuckyJim Title: Re: My epiphany moment Post by: Forestaken on May 02, 2014, 02:38:06 PM Mine was fear. fear of losing my kids in a court battle, she threaten to falsely accuse me of child molestation (get me out of the house), fear of not having enough money for a lawyer... .
Title: Re: My epiphany moment Post by: mywifecrazy on May 02, 2014, 02:52:00 PM Thank God your kids are understanding and know that you're a good Dad! Hang in there brother. Just remember that the TRUTH is on your side.
Title: Re: My epiphany moment Post by: Kabooma on May 02, 2014, 04:43:54 PM I stay because of my child. I don't want to stay, but my child is special needs, and if she won even partial custody, the child will no doubt suffer for it. I can't bring myself to take that risk.
I've mentioned being trapped in other posts, and it's exactly that. Those of you who CAN run, absolutely should. I sure wish I did. |