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Im in tears feeling really dumb for contacting yesterday and having sex with,him.

He sleeps day and works late nights... I know he ll call but was hoping he

Would for once think of me and even contact for 5 minutes just to ease me.

Im in tears. I feel so dumb... I mean he was actively flirting w other ppl and looking elsewhere... And here I am c ok ming back. He must have very little respect for me.

Im so confused. And hurt right now. I wish I,hadnt have gone yesterday.

Don't be so hard on yourself.  You have feelings for him.  Yes, you probably shouldn't have gone, at least not so soon.  Unfortunately, it is hard to say no to them and they seem well aware of this.  Try to play it cool.  Look around and see if there is anything you can do to keep busy.  I would wait for him to make contact if I were you, but try real hard not to meet up with him.  Go if you really must, but not right away.  Sounds like he is testing to see how much control he still has over you.

What in the hell is the point of that? Why does he need to test that... . ?

And why does he want control to begin with? I just dont get it.

I want to try and let fo again... .

I think limited contzct would be better tho... That way he doesnt feel abandoned and its not so stressful on me

No need beating yourself up over that, just take it as a minor setback, it happens to the best of us. What strikes me though is that you seem to still put his needs before yours, I think that's a sure fire way to get hurt over and over again, as you are now.

Remember you're dealing with a BPD, I'm certainly no expert but from what I gather is that they're simply unable to be considerate of your feelings, they just 'use' people for whatever fleeting need they might have at the moment. It's all you can ever expect