BPDFamily.com

So... . to add to my story.

Twice in the last couple weeks she (uBPDw) place her hand on me and shoved to get me to leave the room.  Nothing verbal first.

I am much larger than her... . so I was never in any danger... . but... . what do I need to do if this happens again?

I have records (audio)... . but nothing provable (video).

I have written things from her alluding to she would "get me", get the word out about me, police would come get me at my job,

she has called 911 a couple times to report my "behavior"... . all made up or distorted... . but requested no response... . and to my knowledge... no police ever came to the house.

I wan to save marriage... . but also want to be realistic... . she is pushing to gain back control.  I will get off the crazy train... . one way or another.

Hoping for some good advice.

she has admitted to our marriage counselor that she put her hands on me for one of the events.  The marriage counselor quizzed her about this... . and she responed yes several times.

Not sure if that matters for "proof".

She could be trying to construct a history of repeated calls for help, reports or calls she could try to use against you at a future time.  Or she could be doing it to manipulate you into appeasing or compliant behaviors.  It could be either one - or both.

Frankly, your future could probably will visits by the police.  As is often said here, If allegations are contemplated or threatened, then it's just a matter of time before it happens.  Even if you are the one who calls, you could be the one carted off.  In my case, I called 911.  By the time the police arrived, my now-ex had calmed a bit and was claiming I was the one misbehaving.  Fortunately I had recorded but I couldn't retrieve it from my device, it didn't have a working speaker.  An officer asked me to "step away".  I had been holding my quietly sobbing preschooler.  Looking back I think my son saved me that day, he started shrieking when I tried to pull him off me to hand him over to his mother as requested.  What kid won't go to his own mother?  The officer stared at me for a long moment, said "work it out" and they left.  Months later my divorce lawyer, a former policeman, said the standard policy is to cart away one of the persons in a domestic incident, usually the man, regardless who was at fault.  Yes, my son saved me.

Our most essential handbook for legal issues, sometimes even more informative than a lawyer:

Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy & Randi Kreger.