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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: bunnyrabit on May 08, 2014, 09:56:15 AM



Title: She reached out again, I responded
Post by: bunnyrabit on May 08, 2014, 09:56:15 AM
I was meeting a good friend of mine and we were going for a drink. Not long after we sat together I get a phone call from a number I didn't know, so I pick up and... . it was her. She wanted to know why I was 'angry' with her, because of the last text I sent I asked her to leave me alone. I told her I wasn't angry but that it was too hard for me to get over her while we kept seeing each other and that I hoped she understood.  A bit agitated, she hangs up telling me that she'll leave me alone.

I now couldn't stop thinking that she was sitting in a bar just a few meters away and it drove me insane.

From that moment on it wasn't the relaxing drink anymore I thought I was going to have. I really couldn't stay focused on the conversation with my friend, I felt restless and even got a bit agitated with the company and the conversation at hand.

So I couldn't help myself, went to the bar where she was sitting and invited her to come join us. She was drunk and all over me, we kissed a few times. She then whispers in my ear she wanted to get a hotel room and make love.

I answered that I even if I wanted too I couldn't because she has been with a complete stranger and has not taken an STD test yet. Just a few minutes later she says she's going to try to get back with her ex before me and that she wants to have children with him (something she told me she didn't want anymore). So I guess now I've been degraded to her toy for inbetween boyfriends or something, great... . Feeling really hurt by this I felt compelled to try to hurt her back and told her that the sex with my ex before her was better... . Really childish, I know... .

All in all, I think it's good I got the see once again her true colors. Telling me she wants me and in the same breath saying she's going back to her ex... . The insanity of it all. I now kinda hope the ex will take her back, it will hurt but I can have some peace in my life... .


Title: Re: She reached out again, I responded
Post by: BacknthSaddle on May 08, 2014, 10:47:44 AM
Bunny,

Don't beat up on yourself for being "childish." None of us is immune to provocation.  Remember that the difference is: you recognize that your behavior was childish.

As painful as it was, hang on to that moment from last night.  There will probably be moments in the future that you feel like going back despite all of this, and those may coincide with moments in which she is "available."  But when those moments arise, remember what happened last night, and remember how much better you deserve than that. 


Title: Re: She reached out again, I responded
Post by: Katy-Did on May 08, 2014, 12:11:58 PM
 
Excerpt
... . hang on to that moment from last night.

  Yes, and later---don't try to justify her actions just because she had a few, too many.  Been there, done that.