BPDFamily.com

So something that has been bothering me for a while and I'd like to ask if anyone feels the same... .

So my pwBPD was always very conscious of how people would speak to her and address her, the slightest change in tone would be picked up on and could often lead to a disagreement, even if she was overtly rude in the first place.

So my question is, Is it quite usual for pwBPD to expect a certain level of polite and 'bouncy' communication from others whilst they feel it is ok to be quite rude and often offensive on occassion without any back lash?

An example:

BPD: ''I don't know why you have to take a big bag with you today, it's ridiculous''

NON: ''I might buy a few things and my other one is too small for shoppin''

BPD '' I didnt ask for a detailed description of your f***kin bag''

NON: ''Alright, there no need to talk to me like that, I was just explaining why''

BPD: '' Don't get arsey with me!''

NON: ''I'm not getting arsey, I'm just explaining why I'm taking the big bag''

BPD: '' You took a tone with me and now you're starting an argument like you always do, I've tried to leave it and you're starting an argument with me''

Can anyone relate to this or is this just my experience?

Yes, it is very typical.

It's all about THEIR feelings.

1. Everybody must respect their feelings when addressing them.

2. Everybody must respect their feelings when they address others.

The area in the brain that deals with emotions for a pwBPD actually has been shown to function higher on CT scans... . meaning, yes, pwBPD are more sensitive to all emotions than a non.

Marsha Linehan describes it as having a 3rd degree emotional sunburn - pwBPD are emotionally raw.

Because things are taken personally at times, this is why proper validation of the emotions is so helpful in disarming  a potential disagreement.