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Sitting here having my morning coffee and thinking... .

I have been NC for just about 4 months now.  I have managed to stay away from social media and things have been relatively quiet.

I am awaiting the next step in my divorce process... . actually my ex has been co operative so far (I say that with hesitation) so it's just a matter of her signatures on the paperwork so my lawyer can file!

However... .

Yesterday I noticed there was a vm on my phone (my ex is blocked on all avenues... . phone , text email etc etc)

I go to listen and it's her... . hello it's me it's 7 o'clock ... I need to talk to you goodbye!

I immediately had that sudden feeling of anxiety... . my pulse quickened a bit... . and I felt ... . quite honestly ... . like s&$t!

I have only communicated with her through my lawyer and up until this point she has co operated ... . So this is confusing to me!

Firstly... . I feel good about the fact that my reaction was that "mild" ... . and that I only ruminated and had heightened feelings for less than a day... .

Progress?

I am not looking forward to seeing her in court... . but have been working on myself and the fact that I'll be stronger once that day comes... .

But I cannot help but feel that this is significant progress for me?

Secondly... . I cannot help but wonder what she could possibly want?

Only natural to wonder?   And to feel a little anxious about it?

It's kind of thrown me off ... .

Yeah, this is progress  - you are way more calm than I would have been in your shoes!


Confusion and anxiety is how you should feel - this is normal because she is changing the established rules. 


that sounds like progress to me - the fact you didn't react/respond is really progress too.  |iiii


If your day is like mine, my anxiety up to the point was worse than actually seeing her.


Celebrate that progress Cimbaruns - you have been through a lot to earn it!


human nature to wonder and it is likely personal in nature or she would go through the attorney.  Remember, it really could be a fleeting moment too - her poor impulse control.

One thing I have learned over the years here - if she has something to say to you, she will find a way - if it was a reaction to something else, she has already let that go and you are the only one thinking about it.

Keep up the good work and celebrate the success - it does look like progress to me... . a few months ago, you would have been very anxious and contacted her... . good job  |iiii

Peace,

SB

Thanks SB

I am so very thankful that my life on the SS Drama has come in to port so to speak.

I rode those crazy waves for oh so long... . and being where I am now has taken so time to adjust and come down from... .

So when she got through ... . and into my new way of life... . well it was a little... . all to familiar if you will... .

But progress... . yes I guess so... . I should be happy as to how far I have come... . I think!

It is probably personal in nature... . and no doubt self serving for her... .

Holy Moly I think I've taken some good steps... . and this is proof!

My impulse control and boundaries are certainly remaining in place! |iiii

Peace to you as well