BPDFamily.com

I broke it off with someone and still find myself thinking about them endlessly (its been only a couple of weeks). the reality is... I know better, I'm going out with someone else right now who seems to be normal and while its fun... my mind always wonders back to the person with the PD. I'm starting to look at it as n addiction where the person with the PD is crack and everyone else is red bull. does anyone else feel that way?

Not right now but I have in the past. Its how it is when you've been hurt. Your emotions are a real part of your being that, like everything else, has the potential to be injured, damaged, or broken.

What I'd say is best is to break off your new relationship right now and get cozy with a stack of self-help books. Also include a journal. The people you need in your life right now are counselors, support groups, and God (or Higher Power). While you're at it, get physically active with regular exercise. When you're ready, start volunteering. All of these are important tools for your healing and growth.

It's important to come to understand yourself, your past, your emotions and attachments, and learn to get healthy before involving yourself in another relationship.

I was recycled 4 almost 5 times in one year. Dont do it. It gets worse. You feel like crap. You accept endless garbadge that you would never have in the past. It will get worse.

The reason your mind is wandering back is because it was a drama fest roller coaster filled with adrenaline and anxiety. EVERYTHING is going to seem dull until your biology returns to a normal state. Dating and distracting is a good Idea. Im doing it... . but thoughts definitely creep in about my exBPD... .   Just stay with it... . and you dont have to make the girl you are with now your one and only. Just be honest if you feel you want to date others.

Did I do something wrong? Was that General Announcement directed at me?

I appreciate what you said here, and I think your post is on the right board. I do often wonder if there is something about me that craves the chaos. the answer is probably yes.

I also wonder whether I've picked up on some of my ex's behaviors and fears (god I hope not). my T has said that its been only a year and that my brain is still somewhat wired to the chaos that was my life.

God knows I dont want to cause anyone any pain. I do hope that my current relationship continues as it feels very different than what I've had before.

Trust me IT IS ALWAYS ABOUT THEM. one day you will reach the point that she would like to recycle and you would refuse. see where you are now ? you are the one who wants to be recycled ( i was once) but you will even get to the point that you dont want her to recycle you. if a BPD does not accept the offer of recycling (she knows you want to if you are still contacting her) then she has a replacement now but she will make sure that you would wait in line to get your share of abuse later if one day she felt lonely and want your attention again. It will never be about you. These creatures lack empathy and are so selfish. trust me the fix that you need to get the high you had once in the beginning of the initial relationship will mostly not come back and if it came back it is only to hook you for withstanding more abuse later when she starts to devaluate you like she did before leaving you initially.