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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: antjs on May 17, 2014, 02:03:59 PM



Title: is it over ?
Post by: antjs on May 17, 2014, 02:03:59 PM
i woke up today with a very different spirit. I did not get the usual morning heart attack. she was not the first thing that was on my mind this morning. I dont feel this chest tightness anymore. I even do not miss her or feel any negativity within me when i remember her or any of the events that happened between us. I know i have not healed 100% but please somebody tell me that the major or the hardest part of grieve has finished. I feel now that this is the first day that i can function properly, that i can truly laugh, that i can go to work that i can enjoy back the activities i used to do before she was in my life. I know that a down is coming but i hope it will be less intense and last shorter. Is the biggest part of the grieve period is over ?


Title: Re: is it over ?
Post by: cosmonaut on May 17, 2014, 02:16:12 PM
Congratulations!   |iiii  Sounds like you have made some significant progress in detaching.  That's an accomplishment to be proud of.

It's hard to say if the hardest part is over, because detaching is a process, and a fluid one.  Sometimes we move backwards and sometimes forward.  The important thing is the our overall progress is toward healing and detaching.  Don't be hard on yourself if you have some hard days or you again feel a longing for your ex.  That happens and it's normal.

I think you are on your way to a brand new future.  You're doing great!   |iiii


Title: Re: is it over ?
Post by: Mutt on May 17, 2014, 02:35:00 PM
i woke up today with a very different spirit. I did not get the usual morning heart attack. she was not the first thing that was on my mind this morning. I dont feel this chest tightness anymore. I even do not miss her or feel any negativity within me when i remember her or any of the events that happened between us. I know i have not healed 100% but please somebody tell me that the major or the hardest part of grieve has finished. I feel now that this is the first day that i can function properly, that i can truly laugh, that i can go to work that i can enjoy back the activities i used to do before she was in my life. I know that a down is coming but i hope it will be less intense and last shorter. Is the biggest part of the grieve period is over ?

Congrats!  |iiii I'm glad you woke up feeling better! Feels good doesn't it? Grieving is different for everyone, you can't measure it from someone else's experience. The moments of feeling like you can't think of anything else will start to space out, the gaps will become longer and longer, it gets better.


Title: Re: is it over ?
Post by: Dolly rocker on May 17, 2014, 04:15:05 PM
Well done!

It will definitely become more and more of a distant memory  every day!

I wish I had met myself when I first broke up with him. Now that I'm in a much better and stronger place. I would stop my old self from recycling.

It was never worthy. He wasn't worthy of me.

I see it now.

And I wish all of you partners of pwBPD could see it too.

It's never too late to jump ship and leave the nightmare behind us.

Never look back! Move forward! You're definitely worth it!


Title: Re: is it over ?
Post by: drv3006 on May 17, 2014, 04:34:28 PM
Thanks for this post. I needed to hear everything u all said. If you can do it it gives me hope. That's one thing he took from me was hope. I was hoping everyday. I had none left. But this was good to read.


Title: Re: is it over ?
Post by: corraline on May 17, 2014, 06:20:24 PM
It is so amazing to get to this point of your healing... . so happy to hear you are feeling so much better antony_james. Embrace it ! I too share some fear of the next down time.  I think its best if we can stay present with the feeling we have today and trust in our process. Its what I am trying to do today especially. Thank you for sharing this with us.