BPDFamily.com

I guess by all accounts, this divorce will be very quickly wrapped up.  In this country, a divorce can take up to 4 years to finalise, and mine will (hopefully) be done in a matter of a month or two.  I was also very fortunate to chance upon a very humane and fair lawyer.  She has experience in high-conflict divorce cases and family legal issues.  She has a working knowledge of personality disorders and how this dramatically complicates legal proceedings. 

She helped steer my soon to be ex BPDh and I into an uncontested divorce settlement.  This means that I made him a settlement offer, and he took it and signed everything he needed to sign.  This means that only I need to appear in Court on the trial date.  And cost is kept to a minimum, as the matter does not need to be decided in a higher Court.

But here I am, waiting to hear from the lawyer.  She said she would contact me as soon as she manages to get a date  for the trial in the lower Court.   

I feel that I am holding my breath, until I hear when there is a date available.  It is the most difficult thing to live with a cloud hanging over me, but my heart really goes out to those whose divorce becomes complicated, conflictual and protracted indefinitely. How do you move on, when you are still being kept so stuck in an untenable situation?

I know that I am also still "absorbing" a lot of my soon to be ex BPDh's issues, as I know he is desperate to apply for a social grant (social security money) and is unable to do so whilst still married in the marriage regime that we defaulted into.  I am dreading him contacting me again, demanding to know why the divorce is not done yet.  As if I can make it all happen faster! 

But, worse things have happened to people, so I will just bear my burden and wait it out and deal with whatever needs to be dealt with along the way... .

I think we all go through some of those waiting for the other shoe to drop situations.  You were indeed fortunate to find such skilled attorney as well as get your H to sign the documents so readily.

As for dreading his contact, remember he no longer has the power, it is in your hands.  You have no obligation to answer his phone calls, texts or emails until you so choose!