BPDFamily.com

Does any one else deal with their BPD or udBPD spouse and crazy making?

When my husband gets in these episodes he does things to make me feel like I'm crazy.  For example this morning he was supposed to take our sons medication to school (he works there) so I asked him where I should put it.  He told me to leave it on his dresser.  I put it right where he asked and didn't touch it again, he even complained that I put it down too hard.  I even had to go back to the house after dropping off our son before I went to work, and saw it on the dresser as I was walking out.  When I got to work he called me to ask where it was and said he couldn't find it.  I know it was there, he just wanted to call to put some blame on me for something since I am ignoring his text.

He then just called me again and said our son got sent to the office.  I asked him why, he said I should know.  I told him I don't know, please tell me what happened.  He said that he got in trouble for repeating what I said this morning and I can figure it out.  The entire car ride to school this morning was very quiet.  My son colored in the back while I cried silently in the front.  We didn't have any conversations about anything this morning.  Then my husband also added in an incident that happened yesterday (2 girls tried to pull down my sons pants), but my son had already told me about it yesterday (and he handled it perfectly I was so proud of him).

How do I deal with crazy making?  I know if I call him out it'll cause an even bigger fight/issue.  He'll never admit he's lying and he'll blow up and start calling me names (his go to when he has nothing else to fight about).

Do I just ignore it?

First I just want to send ((hugs)) your way... . I too have cried on my way to work over "crazy making"

Personally, I feel like when my husband is in this mode, he is upset/hurting over something that has nothing to do with me. However, I am the closest person to him, which means I get the brunt of it all. My advice, is to go about your daily routine without acknowledging the crazy making. This works best for me... . and I think it has taught my husband that he needs to address what is really going on with me instead of displacing his emotions and feelings.

I could be wrong... . but sometimes, our partners act like children. If a child displays a type of behavior that is wrong, the best approach at times is to ignore it. The more you feed into it, the more it will be used against you.