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Title: Broke No contact today after 2 months Post by: goodmann11 on May 21, 2014, 02:07:12 PM Hello I have posted before... . I had a nearly 3 year 'relationship' with my diagnosed ex BPD GF. She was 30 me 47... being on here you can guess the rest. Plenty of Fish has a lot to answer for!
After meeting her once for a drink she invited me to her 30th Birthday party at her parents house 2 days later red-flag. I was greeted like a hero and long lost friend by the whole family. whilst there she rushed up and kissed me on more then one occasion red-flag. I was made to feel most welcome and flattered. Look she's a pretty young girl looking great in shorts, a gold boob tube top and tiara! red-flag. I am a professional type I dress well arrived in an XKR convertible so was not looking too bad myself. I went to leave later in the evening and she came rushing down stairs with a bag packed red-flag. That night we had sex in a hotel, the night of her 30th birthday. The journey there was interesting too! Fast forward... . Her turning up at my door unannounced, moving in, the first early rage within a week, running off (at least once a week), paranoia, blaming, The LIES, drinking demands (name tattoo on my back),engagement ring, Physical and mental abuse. She drove her car into my house 6 months in (17K insurance claim).She was 4 times over... . 2 year ban. Continuously telling me to put her in my will, move house, buy her a new car, book a wedding date. This was during the devaluation stage. Yes there was 3 holidays and some good times. She could be generous however she was a 30k credit card bankrupt. As a point of reference I am self employed own 2 houses solvent. No criminal record not bankrupt and a responsible guy. I am in the motor trade and from London so maybe come across as a bit of a player type. In hindsight she met her match a bit. Although now older I was truly happy to work through the ___ that she brought to the party. We parted first in December last year after a 4 hour domestic. Yet again words the e previous night were perceived as abandonment signs, So I arrived home to a drunk with her bags packed. I tried to stand my ground and showed her the door rather than back down. Neighbours called the police and she was arrested and convicted for assaulting them. I have seen her 3 times since then obviously at times when she cannot stand to be on her own. The sex was welcomed the terrible devaluation at that time was not. Only now do I REALISE how manipulated I have been. She has found a new shiny toy I think... . good luck to him! Its 3 years today... I text her with Happy Birthday! She replied Thank U. The new Guy better be making it a special day for her otherwise he will have hell to pay! Why do I care? Why am I still on here? I just cant get the lying, childish, irresponsible, sexy... . did I say sexy? Little hermit, waif, Queen out of my mind. The Witch I do not miss at all. Any comments to my post will be received with gratitude and trust me I am still hurting especially tonight Title: Re: Broke No contact today after 2 months Post by: LettingGo14 on May 21, 2014, 02:19:46 PM Why do I care? Why am I still on here? Any comments to my post will be received with gratitude and trust me I am still hurting especially tonight Here's my perspective: We care because we invest ourselves in our relationships. We care because something about these relationships makes us feel good about ourselves. We have difficulty letting go because something within us seems to die when we do so. So we hang on to hurt like a life raft, and we circle our sources of pain. Something core and fundamental seems to be at risk if we let go. Here's what I am learning: We can reclaim ourselves. We let go, and we suffer, but then we find ourselves. I no longer wish to cede responsibility for how I feel about myself to another human being. It's hard, goodmann11. And I hear you. But, you posted in the right place, and we can help each other get through the days and nights. Title: Re: Broke No contact today after 2 months Post by: goodmann11 on May 21, 2014, 02:27:49 PM We care because we invest ourselves in our relationships. We care because something about these relationships makes us feel good about ourselves. We have difficulty letting go because something within us seems to die when we do so.
So true... . I find that like a mad man I am talking aloud to myself a bit lately and I said I today " I invested so much... . what a waste" Than you so much for your reply To think that she is spending her birthday with another makes me sick to the stomach, I did so much for that girl but get no acceptance or closure from her |