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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: sanemom on May 23, 2014, 05:30:33 AM



Title: Excellent book to help with PA
Post by: sanemom on May 23, 2014, 05:30:33 AM
We are finally out of court.  The judge threatened the parties pretty harshly saying that they needed to settle, and he didn't need to be hearing this case.  So DH and BPD mom did…but of course, we have some buyer's remorse because we are still not getting any relief from the PA that we were hoping for, and she is going to keep DSD so DSD will get even more alienated.  Court date and settlement was just Monday and BPD mom has already tried to block DH"s parenting time this weekend by having DSD text him saying she needs space (and the texts sounded very much like BPD mom's words). 

Anyway, the relief is that we can finally tell the boys all that has been going on... of course, I guess we could have before since BPD mom did not get into ANY trouble for telling them ALL about her side, but if we had a hearing, she would have, and we wanted to be clean.  We have a counseling session set up with the boys next week to hear them out and maybe to let them know some of what has been going on with us.

I found a new book out by Amy Baker called Co-parenting With a Toxic Ex: What to do When Your Ex-Spouse Tries to Turn Your Children Against You.  It is EXCELLENT and full of practical strategies to combat PA…more meatier than Divorce Poison, I think.  We are employing the strategies full force before she gets the summer visitation for the month of June.  I HIGHLY recommend it to any of you who are fighting this exhausting battle


Title: Re: Excellent book to help with PA
Post by: ForeverDad on May 23, 2014, 08:23:25 AM
I guess there's not much point to filing for Contempt of Court, but at least it would notify the judge and the court record that a legally binding 'settlement' was immediately being actively ignored.  Too late for DSD but no one knows what pressure and manipulation may occur in the next few years with the boys.

I found a new book out by Amy Baker called Co-parenting With a Toxic Ex: What to do When Your Ex-Spouse Tries to Turn Your Children Against You.  It is EXCELLENT and full of practical strategies to combat PA…more meatier than Divorce Poison, I think.  We are employing the strategies full force before she gets the summer visitation for the month of June.  I HIGHLY recommend it to any of you who are fighting this exhausting battle.

We don't have this book reviewed on our Book Reviews (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=33.0) board, why not write an initial review describing the book?  While there are reviews there concerning Toxic Parents (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=57139.0) and Toxic In-Laws (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=136015.0), both by Susan Forward, we need this one listed there too.


Title: Re: Excellent book to help with PA
Post by: livednlearned on May 23, 2014, 11:37:06 AM
Hey, thanks for suggesting this! I did a quick skim of the sample contents and it looks helpful.

I just created a book review if you want to add anything in the thread:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=226013.msg12437463#msg12437463


Title: Re: Excellent book to help with PA
Post by: sanemom on May 23, 2014, 11:50:20 AM
Thanks!  I will review it this weekend.