BPDFamily.com

Background:  2 months and two days NC.  I had her phone # blocked since the last (and final) incident.  This morning I receive a barrage of text messages from a new phone number.  I'm thinking I'll have to change my number... .

her: was it worth it? enjoy your new ride. thugs with mugs. S 9:17 AM

-- I have since moved across country (unrelated to her, but definitely a bonus), so she must be stalking someone else at my old address.  She apparently isn't aware that I have moved.  Hopefully she won't learn otherwise... .

her: I tried to tell you and keep you safe from them. Stupid cannot be fixed. Tell [our previous therapist] hi. She will hear from my attorney. S 9:20 AM

-- Not sure who "they" are.  Perhaps her ex husband's people, who are all out trying to "get" her in her opinion.  Once she even thought two teen Jehovah's witnesses wearing suits were assassins and called the police on them.  Seriously.  And our previous therapist suggested she sounded manic and delusional and might benefit from some anti depressants.  exBPD stormed out and painted her black, and apparently thinks I'm still seeing the same therapist, who I haven't seen since that day almost 16 months ago. 

her: (1/2) Calling police and making false allegations and attempts to incarcerate a innocent person is subject to prosecution. Keep your check book healthy. My atto 9:27 AM

her: (2/2) rney will contact you also. Peace and Love 9:27 AM

--This is likely referring back to the incident over a year ago when I came home to half of my stuff in the driveway, and she had a pistol laying on the kitchen counter... . while she was out on bond for attempted murder of her previous husband, and the possession of weapons was against the terms of release.  She locked me out and I had to call the police to get my valuables. The police asked her if she had a gun, but she said 'no' (of course)

her: What turnip truck dropped you off in [our state]. 9:30 AM

--  lol

She got blocked around 9:35 AM.  I did not respond.  I started to shake when i saw her messages, but have been ok otherwise.  I'm feeling inner turmoil over the threat of a lawsuit and having to ever see her ever again.  Any lawsuit she might bring would be completely baseless.

Every day has been getting a bit easier, so this will set me back a bit.  But I will recover from this *)  Plus, this is so unfair... . I was nothing but loving and understanding, like many/most of you out there reading this, I suspect.  And this is how we are treated.  What a shame.   

I posted this partially to vent, and part of me is wanting someone to tell me that with NC she'll eventually get bored and move on to the next victim!  I realize this is most likely just attention seeking but part of me wonders, since she was always talking about lawsuits against several others after her criminal case got resolved... . which likely happened within the past 2 months.  Sigh.

Thanks for reading! :)

Hi   Trent,

Nice title of your post. Congrats for escaping from her to the other side of the country. I unfortunately am stuck in the same town as my ex. I wish we both lived on different planets, that would still be too close though. Hope everything just settles down and you have peace and can start your new life. Good luck on your new path.

Peace,

AO

Hi AO, thanks for the response.  The same planet is definitely too close!  I am 2,000 miles away from her now and thanks to the wonders of technology it's like she's still just around the corner.  The good news is that I think she'll be wearing an ankle monitor for the next year, so I doubt she'll be showing up at my door anytime soon.  I'm praying she'll find a new muse in the mean time, and hopefully I'll drop off her radar for a while.

I'm kicking myself because, a year ago, I knew I was playing with fire (her), and naively thought I wouldn't get burned.  Lesson learned!

Now I fully understand everyone else here when they say that your ex can somehow feel when you're detaching, and they find a way to weasel themselves back into our lives, or at least make contact and set us back a bit.  Yes, I have regressed a little bit today, but I am determined to prevail!  NC NC NC!   |iiii

I must say, I have the opposite experience with my ex.  He is far better at NoContact than I am. 

I am beyond glad.  I fear the day he comes calling back, though... . His words of love are too much for me to ignore... .

My gut says she has no intention of doing anything.  She is just reaching out to engage and see if you bite.  Mine did similar crap.  Ignore and she might ramp it up to MORE messages but eventually get bored and leave you be.

You could engage like I dd, he threatened once more and the POOF!  He was gone into the night... . as black as his heart!  lol

siren -- I think you're right.  The more I think about it, the more it seems like a desperate plea for attention.  I guess all I can do at this point is maintain NC and keep an eye out for court papers... . lol

maternal -- "His words of love are too much for me to ignore" -- that's exactly what he's banking on, and most likely how most of us end up recycling.  I know that's how it worked for me.  Or didn't work, as it were  :)  I'd definitely recommend blocking him from all of your communication avenues and continue to move forward with your life.  You deserve better! 

Trent... . one thing a controlling woman can not stand is "no control"!  There is a new car in your driveway, think about it... . she has no info and is shorting out... . this is all a desperate attempt to get a response out of you. You are driving her crazy! The good news is , is that is just a bonus of you staying NC, which is called: "taking care of you".

Keep up the good work... . it is not easy when you are in the middle of this unwanted drama.

Hell, I would settle for just around the block! My uBPDxw is shacking up across the street with my neighbor 

Thanks IR, I hadn't considered that perspective!

After reflecting on all she put me though, I can now enjoy my new found schadenfreude guilt-free.  *evil laugh* 

MWC - sorry, that daily reminder must be tough.  If it were me, I would try thinking of the hell my neighbor is about to be put through, and how I'm grateful it will no longer be me... . hang in there!

OK, reading a bit more leads me to believe this is an "extinction burst":  https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=85479.0

Prior to now, the longest we've been NC is 7 weeks.  Today makes 9 weeks.  She must be getting worried.  Also, the last day or two we were together, I told her I was thinking of going to counseling as a result of our r/s... . so I think she assumes I've gone back to our previous therapist, and likely blames her for the continued NC.  Which is probably why my ex mentioned the therapist in the text.

Sigh... . five more days of mental processing.  Prior to the text, I was visiting this site less and less, which I felt was happening naturally as I detached from my ex.  Since then, I've been back on here daily.  Then again, scouring this site for answers is much more productive than recycling with her yet again.  As is often said here, recovery is a process, and not necessarily a linear one.  Dammit!  :)

Trent,

You have just had a LOT of big changes in your life... so try be patient with you... . you have been in upheaval before the NC and the move, sounds like you had a really wild ride. Just be easy on you... I know at this stage I had no emotional bottom for any thing (not even a closing door).

You are very fortunate that you are out of the area, this makes it all much better for you to move on. If there is contact again, just keep blocking those numbers... . I can tell you being upset about that stuff is totally normal.  Just focus on the moment and what you need to do that is healthy for you in that moment... . easy to say, hard to do.

Mine lived right down the street from me and she and the guy she ran off with appeared to enjoy driving by every morning on their way to work for years... . it was hard on me... . but it was my hometown and I refused to move (my choice). I was stalked at times, multiple drive-byes with contact by her (I think when he was not around) etc.etc. I did not engage. Lot of sick behavior but I just stayed out of their sick drama... Easy to say... . hard to do!

I have many stories I could tell you. All of them hard to believe and all of them upsetting to my emotional well-being... . but I just did not engage with her or him. Two sick people.

MWC is REALLY in a tough position. God bless him.

You are in a great situation to be able to move down the road... it's never easy, but just keep doing what you are doing my friend. It gets better.

I have found these situations to be traumatizing emotionally, but I got into therapy and had a lot of guidance. It help me sort through it and act the best that I could in a way that was loving me. I had to come to the realization that I was all I had. Huge growth.

Thanks for the support Infared.  I need to work on being patient with myself and dwelling on unproductive thoughts, two things I have not been very good at throughout my life thus far.  I appreciate your words of wisdom.

Forward!   :)